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"You will have significant experiences. I hope that you will write them down and keep a record of them, that you will read them from time to time and refresh your memory of those meaningful and significant things. Some may be funny. Some may be significant only to you. Some of them may be sacred and quietly beautiful. Some may build one upon another until they represent a lifetime of special experiences. "Gordon B. Hinckley

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17 October 2011

Suicide

I'm back tracking a bit in time! October 2nd was such General Conference we were able to watch the Saturday session but recorded the Sunday session because our family attended a funeral of the Mr.'s co-worker's son, Adam. Her son had struggled a year ago and was working through things and doing well. He had depression and Sunday, they laid his body to rest. He committed suicide.
It prompted a good conversation with our children. We wanted them to know that there is nothing that they could do that should even bring to mind taking their lives. We know life is hard and offers trials that seem overwhelming. We let them know that sometimes there will be pain so great that you may think it easier to die. Do not entertain such thoughts. Do not dance with the devil. For these thoughts are from him.
We all attended such a lovely service but it was so heart breaking to hear such audible sadness. They were not members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, they were of another faith. I felt for them. I ached for them too. However, they do believe in a life after. Suicide leaves the living left with feelings of guilt, what if, could of, should of.
It brought questions to my mind. Is it a Latter Day Saint thing? I have always heard that the Lord will not give you more than you can handle. Where is that written, who said that? And, is it because I heard that and was told that I know that my trials are able to be overcome? Clearly, his trials were more than he could handle. Did someone not tell him? I DEFINITELY believe and understand that our life is a GIFT it is not for us to TAKE it is only our Father in Heaven's. I know there have been members of the church who have committed suicide. There trial was more than they could bare. I know the Lord has the perfect plan. I know He will be the only one who will offer us his saving mercy.
Adam's passing allowed us to re-itterate to our children our love, our Savior's love and the glorious gift of the atonement and all that it entails! I too, wrote that day to our son, who was serving his mission and bore to him my testimony of the gospel.
I let him know, as I testified to our other children that there is nothing that they could do or say that would keep us from loving them. There is nothing that our family could not get through together that would warrant such a drastic and permanent answer. Yes, there would be disappointments, yes there may be tears but in the morn hope would arise and faith would go forth. They may face trials that may seem or appear overwhelming and too much. Remember who they are. Get on bended knee and plead for our Father's help. Help will come. It will come in impressions to your mind and to your heart, it will come from the voice of others, it will come through service. It is important to look for these answers in others. I just want them to know that our Father will never leave them alone. Satan will place horrible thoughts of doubt and guilt into your minds and have you believe that no one will love you, that you are a big disappointment, shame, etc. Those thoughts will never come from our Father in Heaven, God. He is the creator of all, even you. He would never look upon you with disdain. He is all loving and understanding and has sent his Beloved Son, Jesus Christ to provide a way that we can stand spotless again and bring ourselves back to live with him.

10 comments:

Valerie said...

Well said MG. A beautiful testimony of the sanctity of life.

2busy said...

Lovely testimony. Suicide is a hard thing to fathom.

Cherie said...

That is so sad and so hard.
Good thoughts and glad you were able to talk about it with your children.

P.S. Good to see you back on the blog.

Alice Wills Gold said...

There have actually been some good articles in the Ensign about suicide.

It is a bible verse that talks about us not having things greater than we can handle.

If I remember I will come back with links when I get a second.

But for now here is something I think is really important for you and your friend's to know. The atonement of Christ covers suicide.

We have no idea of understanding if it will cover this kid's suicide and that is the hard part about suicide, but we have no idea what really goes on in their head or what has happened to them to cause this course of action...how much of it is biological or a result of lacking chemicals. How much is from things that have happened to them that we can't begin to understand.

I am such a huge advocate for counseling and drugs. It is a waste that many commit suicide because they don't get the help they need because of the social stigma (sometimes a lot of the reason they don't seek and get the help they need is because their family isn't open to the honesty or therapy or drugs it takes for a person to heal)

Sue said...

Have missed you. Like your new format.

My husband found his mom after she committed suicide. It was devastating, and still is.

The promise to all of us, is if we are doing the best we can, and living the gospel, we will be able to handle the problems that come.
I know members who weren't living to their potential, and when the trials came they left the church, and basically gave up.

I'm glad we don't have to judge.

So sorry for Adam and his family.
It sounds like you shared just the right things with your kids.

Janiece said...

Today marks 37 yrs since my husband's family lost their mother to suicide.
The effects of suicide touch generations.
There are not answers... but their is suport of family and friends and their is the Comforter, to help get through those hard days.

kc_froglady said...

what a great post of hope! There is always a way, you have to listen for the Lord and he will guide you.

Merrianne said...

i've missed your blog :)
and i love your testimony! so inspiring!!

H.K. said...

I'm so glad that you spoke to your children about suicide and wove in the gospel with it. We went to one ward where 2 members from two separate families committed suicide all in one year. I taught primary and the little girl that was in my classroom told me that her mother shot herself in the head, I was shocked and upset that the primary presidency didnt let me know- it was CTR 5. And sad that the little girl knew the details of her mothers death. Miss ya my blog friend!

Ane said...

That's so sad! :( I really feel for them. I really appreciate this post and your testimony, I am sure that this will help me when I need to discuss this with my kids. Have a great Sunday!

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