I promised I would blog my journey of ups and downs through the moment and not waiting until after the storm. Today is a stormy day for me.
I am stressed. Normally, I am positive and my vision is clear. The goal or finish line is always in sight and my shoulder is always to the wheel. (sing it: Push your shoulder to the wheel push along, Do your duty with a heart full of song, we all have work let no one shirk, put your shoulder to the wheel)! ::stomps foot and pouts:: Well, my shoulder hurts! and I don't want to push anymore. I need to rest.
I would be one of those pioneers on the plains complaining and saying I can't do it anymore. Think of Emma and her ox! If you are not Mormon, you will have no idea what this means or clue of the song above. I can handle stresses just not financial stresses. WE went through our financial stress while we were young and in college with two babies. I know financial stress. I have been there.
Financially we are not there yet, but the dreaded fear of revisiting that time is enough to put me in a looney bin. I want to retreat and curl into a fetal position.
I promise I won't retreat
No firm offers have been placed and it is March. Perhaps I have been too optimistic. I thought we would at least have a firm offer or choice by now. Many say it has only been a month but really it has been 2 months. We knew before the first of January that Feb. 2nd would be his last day. It is already into March and many great prospects but nothing. Hope is there but I seemed to have lost my faith, today.
I promise I won't lose Hope
The resounding words of ENDURE keep breaking through. I know the right thing to do, I know the right attitude to have. I just can't do it, today. Today, I am taking a break. I am climbing into the wagon and not pushing the wheel. Today, Mr. Incredible has to pull the cart by himself. Can you do you it honey? I'm so sorry.
I promise I will be better tomorrow
I promise I will endure despite the fact I can't see the end.
I promise I will be stronger, but for today I'm taking a break.
But the place where I made my most important promises and covenants are still clear and bright.
I PROMISE NEVER to let go of those vows made no matter how strong the storm or long the trial! (with you by my side I can succeed) I promise....
20 comments:
Okay I know it is stupid to give advice that I can't take right now, but still...
You know he never gives us more than we can handle, so keep holding on and remember that. Remember that you have fellow church members (and I mean here too, like me!) who will have your back and talk if you need to. And remember the church, your ward even, will not let you slip through the cracks MG. ((HUGS))
Bless your heart . Take that break . And may I suggest ask Mr. Incredible for a husband's blessing. Have a better day and prayers for a new job for Mr I.
"Let me push your cart for a while" is what our Heavenly Father is going to say to you. I know you know this. I was in your postion 2 years ago. I was thinking all the things your writing. Your in my prayers and I offer my support. Wish I could give you a hug my friend. Just know that you are loved and Heavenly Father has some thing great in mind for your family. He may be in the process of preparing it.
You asked what happen to my blog. I have 3 blogs right now my family blog, a fun music,movie and books, then my sewing blog. Crazy! But I love to blog and it feels like I am journaling pieces of my self for my children to see.
It's okay to feel that way. Hang in there Goose.
You deserve it Goose. No one can endure everyday with super powers. Even Christ went to the wilderness to regain His needed strength. Mr. Incredible will gladly take the wheel why you lay your head on his lap.
Big hugs and I will hope big for you today.
Sometimes we do have to rest our shoulder for a bit so that we can continue to push. That's the beauty of marriage, your partner is there to pick up the slack just as you would be when he needed to rest. We have a lot of that going on at the Wheeler house this week....
It sounds to me like the faith is still there and you haven't taken as big of a break as you think.
I don't know exactly what to say that could make anything better, but know that we all have days when we aren't as strong and optimistic as we want to be, and that's okay as long as we don't continue to dwell on it. Like you said things will feel better tomorrow. And I am praying for you!
*hugs*
Thinking of you.
Goose you are not going to be cooked! He has a plan for you and your sweet family. Much love and prayers to you and yours. m
I am on a commenting break while my mom is here, but when I saw you posted, I had to come over, you were in my mind for a few days now..
Woman, I heart you dearly.. I wish I could tell you it will get better, but I can tell you that the Lord will never let you down. He will never give up hope on your or will never give up faith in you..
Because you are a choice Child of God, you are a wonderful mother, wife, and friend.. Keep your faith, and he Will keep his promise..
I wish I lived closer to give you a hug or a shoulder to cry with you.
I hope today brang more happiness today..
Oku ou ofa lahi kimoutolu..
Blogging the easy and fun stuff is fun and easy. Blogging the hard stuff takes committment. And integrity.
It's okay to take a day off. Just cry or escape into a book or photo editing or whatever. Tomorrow's always a new day, a fresh start. You can keep pushing then.
xoxo
i hope you start feeling better soon!
sometimes a good break is just what the doctor ordered to recharge the old battery.
you know, i was just thinking about soemthing, and thought i should share.
okay, years ago keli's husband was discharged from the army for medical reasons. so they came home from germany. he is an air traffic controller, so he sent out resumes all over the country.
their car had to be shipped back to the U.S. so they had no car at the time, but he wasn't going to sit at home waiting for a call. he walked down to the local winn dixie (about 2 miles away) and got a job in the meat dept. packaging meat. he only did that for a few weeks before someone called and gave him a good job offer. but i always had a lot of respect for him because of that. he makes about $80K/year at his job now, but he wasn't too proud to go package meat at a grocery store, which only paid a low hourly rate, in the mean time.
I would be honored to put my shoulder to your wheel and help you!! You are amazing--hang in there!
MG,
I feel your pain. You have all the right answers to keep the faith and hope. It's ok to take a day off.
I will help you push!
much ♥!!
everything is going to be ok.... you are in my prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!!
big hugsss!!!!!!!!!!
MG,
I'm so sorry to hear that things are still so tough. We all go through trials and sometimes we just have to take a break from it. It's okay to feel like you are feeling. I'm so glad you have Mr. Incredible there to help you. Hugs to you my dear.
Hope the past few days have been better days.
I always know in my heart, that everything always works out--but sometimes it can be so tough to get my mind around that concept.
The phrase "eternal perspective" comes to mind. MG, you are so awesome. Your faith is strong, and so is your will--I know you guys are going to get through this difficult time, you're a choice daughter of God, and He loves you dearly--and so do the rest of us. Feel free to take a day off whenever you need to, we'll all do what we can to help pick up the slack. ♥♥
Man, I totally feel your pain and will be sharing in it soon. I'm sorry you have this Gethsemane to wade through. Sometimes you have to retreat in order to regain the strength. Our muscles need relaxation so they can recuperate and get stronger. And when the time is right, you'll get back up and start exercising those muscles again!
I sooo hear ya MG! Last night I dreamed we had a utility bill that was $8,426 dollars. All night I was sweating about how in the world we could pay it.
I've been thinking of going back to work (IF I could get a job) and stressed about how much I need to be here for my babies.
We all have those days when we just can't put on a happy face anymore. Glad you're feeling better now!
What a beautifully written post. I wish everyone in the world had an attitude like that. Such faith and such strong words! "I won't retreat, I won't lose hope." What a great example you are and thank you for reminding me the same in the trials I go through.
-- Your family looks beautiful! Everyone has grown up so much since we last saw them. Amazing!
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