Today I was talking to a really good friend here and she too has a son serving a mission in Brownsville, TX. He has been out for over a year so if anyone knows Elder R. Yergensen be sure to give him an extra big hug. He also played football at the U of U, but we won't fault him for that. (just kidding) She was telling me how she received a letter from her boy. I was happy for her but still sulking and trying not to sound bitter. We have written Warrior everyday faithfully since he left. He has received an email each night and for some reason that offers me great comfort. It makes me sad to think what if he didn't get a letter. I asked him to let me know if there were any missionaries that he knew of that needed letters because I would write to them!
As always, Mr. Incredible brings in the mail and he brought in a letter from our boy! I was almost afraid to open it! I studied his handwriting. (chicken scratch, actually) but as we gathered the family around for Family Home Evening to read his letter tears came to my eyes and the tightness in my chest lifted. I felt so relieved to hear his words and his enthusiasm for being there. He loves it there. He absolutely loves it there. He loves his companion. He loves all the experiences and people he is meeting. He loves waking up. He loves learning. He has even learned words in Tongan, Samoan, Philippine, Cantonese and Spanish. He absolutely loves his instructors. He says he will be so sad to leave the MTC. Through his words, I can't help but feel that the training center must be floating on air! It is that spiritual and amazing. I wish I had that experience. He makes me want to be better. I can see him growing and changing already, in this short amount of time. I don't want him to come home and our home feel strange or uncomfortable. I want us all to grow right along with him. So, we too are refining ourselves a bit more. So, that when he comes home his transition will be a bit easier. I will say that I know the First Presidency knows what is best for these young men as well as their mother's and truly anything longer than this would be too much to bear. Imagine that? who woulda thunk it? Until this moment, I had no comprehension of how much anxiety I was carrying. It truly was like manna from Heaven. Thank you, thank you.
Wednesday, September 15th we received his first email letter! It feels so good to have have it reconfirmed that all is well. I have never communicated with Warrior through letters. It has always been via phone or text or person. I am really enjoying this letter writing and emailing. He has grown so much. He thanks us over and over again for his opportunity to serve this mission. He is just so grateful it breaks my heart! He did it, we didn't. He writes how thankful he is for the way we parented him and for the experiences and how we raised him. (I know the correct wording is reared) But, to hear my son, bear testimony and witness of the things he has seen and partaken of, thus far and to have him express gratitude and appreciation for being his parents and loving him and giving him the opportunity to serve a mission, is well... a little more than this mama goose can bear. He has no idea that it was not us, it was he. It is because of his choices that has brought him to this very moment to where he could serve. He said he always knew we wanted to him to serve a mission. He said he then felt like he too wanted to serve a mission and lived so he could but it wasn't until he stepped foot into the MTC where he realized he truly was glad he was serving a mission. He just kept thanking us for teaching him in these things. But, I wish he would realize that this joy and happiness he feels is directly related to all of those choices that he made up to this point. When he was 8 yrs old, 12, 14, 16 and 18 and all those years in between. He reaps the benefits of those choices. He loves going to the temple. We had gone through the temple with him a few times prior to him leaving so that he could clearly understand. Again, I'm so grateful that Mr. Incredible is here for him. I pray everyday that he is here for all of our children and to see Dash through when he goes for his endowments! He is simply amazing and there is no equivalent for his replacement.
It sparks a memory of the consequences of choices Warrior has made.
There was a time when Warrior was 15 or 16 and there was a co-ed party. I strongly felt he shouldn't go. He strongly felt he should go. I was adamant he shouldn't. I should admit that mostly my decisions are off the fly, but this time I was level headed and truly felt it was not a good thing. I expressed it to him, Warrior again disagreed. So, unlike him. He has never been one to push back. This behavior left me baffled and had me question my own judgement. Mr. Incredible didn't have a feel either way, but had respected my feelings and had asked that we both retire to our rooms and pray for an answer. We both did and we would trust the answer that Warrior, received and go with that. My answer was still, No. I was positive that Warrior would come back and say he was going, "I was stunned and amazed when he said the answer he felt was NO, as well. Our children have the abilities to know and feel the spirit. We teach them to choose the right, but what good is it, when they are only allowed to choose from the right choices we would have them to choose? (they are asked to make right choices while young for these very moments) It was a leap of faith on my part to put this decision in my son's hands. I don't know why I felt like this wasn't a good thing. But he had learned that we did trust him, we trusted his judgement, his faith and his decision. Similar situations have come up through the years. Sometimes the answer was different than I had felt. But, we asked him to pray and we would trust in him. He has never broken that trust. There have been disappointments and frustrations, he nor we are perfect. But, trustworthy and honest, kindness and integrity are all names that can be attached to him. Sometimes, you just have to let go and see where the pieces fall. If we are lucky they will fall exactly where they are meant to fall and if we aren't the lucky part is as a family all pieces can be put back together again! I love truly love my husband and my children with all that I am. I'm so glad they are mine and I belong to them. Cherish your own families. Fortify and strengthen those bonds. They are all that matters.
