Aren't these words so true? I was 19 and Mr. Incredible was 23 when we married! So, bright eyed and young. I come from a family where my mother and father are very equal in some things and in other things my mother is clearly the matriarch. My dad while we were young was a truck driver, who worked for others. He was gone a lot and my mom had to run the house, bills and take care of 3 children. My dad had always provided a good way of life, I remember my mom being able to take any class she desired and any craft she wanted to do. I remember always going to the grocery store and having 2 grocery carts full and our favorite treats and cereal in the pantry. We didn't vacation much, other than to Hawaii to see my grandparents but the rest of my dad's family lived in or near the same town. So, although Disney wasn't a part of my childhood. I never felt deprived. WE always went to the amusement park near by and tickets and food were readily available. We always went to the carnivals that would pass through town and cotton candy and rides were given out until we were done riding. (something that my children didn't hear. I didn't like spending money on carnivals and cotton candy what fleeting happiness. I'd rather spend it on clothes or trips)
The Mr. was brought up in a similar but different family. His was more Patriarch ruled. But, his dad was home each night and he was so much older than his mother. I remember her saying that she would have to ask to spend money on her things. I never saw that in my family. My dad's money was my mom's money and she allocated where the dollars went and how it was spent. Mr. Incredible's dad handled finances until he passed. So, I am sure that viewing my life and mannerisms were strange to her and erred on the side of criticism and I being young couldn't see or understand the differences.
Being a mother in law myself has been very rewarding and good. I love my daughter in law. I have known her since Warrior's junior year of high school. While he was a senior I didn't see it ending in marriage because of the years ahead of them, so I didn't view her as a daughter-in-law but liked her. But, they continued to stay in touch through college, through a mission and back again and have married. She is very much like me! We are crafty, funny, silly and she is so giving and tender. I love those things about her. She too, has a different background. Her parents didn't have the gospel in their lives so she sees life and situations a bit differently. Different doesn't mean wrong or bad, it just means different. I know that together they will make things work perfectly for them.
I hope they are as stubborn and strong and pigheaded as we were! I hope they fight hard for what they believe, even if it means fighting against each other. If you are passionate for it don't cave in. BUT do come to a mutual agreement to disagree or to UNDERSTAND another's point of view. You don't have to change their point of view but you can understand and respect it. I hope they are fighters not with each others but I hope they have passion to stand up for what they know is right, stand up for each other and fight! It is that passion and determination that is going to carry you through the hard times. You will be too stubborn to give up and when you want to the other won't let go and won't let you! And if they want to give up you will be the one holding on and not letting go. Don't give up, it's the easy way out. Life and temple marriage was never promised to be easy but it will be worth it, and when you look up, one day you will have 25+ years of marriage behind you and your passions will have been worn and bridled or perhaps your passions have become his or his yours.
Perfect isn't flawless, perfect is perfect for you! Seek answers and advice from within the walls of the temple. Many friends and family and strangers will tell you what they think. Take it in as entertainment and then pray about what you may want to work or change or try in your marriage.
Now that we have more time with each other because our children are older we get to enjoy these little mid day get aways! What a beautiful season we are in! Not quite empty nesters but having so much more time and money for us!
WE have come along way and have journeyed a path that was walked before by others and I have felt the encouragement and the love from others who have passed along the way! Clapping and applauding each step we make and uplifting and and carrying each stubbed toe or stumble! I'm grateful for our ancestors and I'm grateful for the long marriages that we have on both sides. What a beautiful legacy. Because Eternal Marriage is what is all about! Welcome to our Family Warrior Princess
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