Sooooo hello

So much has happened since my last post! We moved from MO, to NY for 6 months and now we are back in NC! When we became unemployed for the second time it was hard and long. We didn't have any credit debt we had become pretty self sufficient just after our move to MO. The income and the stipple was very nice and we were able to recover from any negative effects brought by our unemployment in NC.  Nothing could be better. The children had all adjusted to their schools very quickly and we had a son out on his mission! Then our storm hit our family with a vengeance! Our family found ourselves unemployed once again with a son, still on his mission and a daughter just starting college at BYUH.  I was so spiritually strong through our first unemployment and the second one was exhausting. However, we had adequate savings. WE had been paying for two mortgages for over a year, and we had stopped paying the mortgage on the NC home and made the decision it was more important to stay in our home we currently were living in!  I still wish all the karma and good will that those tenants brought to us back on to them. We took our savings and paid the mortgage payments up to date with all late fees only to find ourselves one month later unemployed. UMPH!

Anyway, I have had a spiritual walk and a walk of faith. One of my children went through some hard things at home, another came home, a loss of a job and an accusation that I was not supporting my church leaders by not attending RS meetings or submitting a written testimony of Daughters of our Kingdom?? HELLO!! WHAT THE HECK??? To say the latter sent me over the edge was an understatement. I literally lost my shiz when I was brought in for a temple interview and asked do you support your leaders and my answer was YES, I was then questioned and not told who said these things. I said, I do, and yes and then to be questioned again about RS was daunting. I told you YES. Hence, You can ask and you can encourage and invite people unto Christ and to do things but you can not compel and force. It is not a commandment and is NOT in support of when I do not do all things asked. So, I read the book Daughters of our Kingdom did I submit my testimony of it, NO. WHY?? because I don't want it written and kept in the ward book. Sorry, I don't. Is it not good enough to have read it? What if I didn't read it, is it not good enough that I am worthy, I do my calling, I serve others? All, this odd questioning because I allowed my temple recommend to expire. Well, I'm sorry I had my son come home unexpectedly from his mission, broken hearted and defeated. 

I had no time to worry about my own feelings but had to deal with the emotional welfare of my children who were home and nurse and work with the emotional and spiritual welfare of our son. The seven or eight months that he was home we walked through so many emotions of love, sadness, spiritual highs, spiritual lows, disappointment, anger, frustration, defeat. These were my emotions! It was hard to have seen the light and excitement in your son's eyes ready to serve the Lord and excited to do so and then to welcome him home a year later feeling discouraged, defeated, and frustrated. His first Sunday he couldn't partake of the sacrament and after that he was able to partake and had all temple rights in tact. I don't understand this! 

So, we watched and nursed our son through what do I do now, to miscommunication back and forth of when he will be able to go back out and serve to a whole array of things. But, the hardest most difficult was to watch our son, hit depression or a state of giving up and who cares. Feeling frustrated that I sent the Lord a good servant and through events in the mission field and his own choices a son returned to me broken and it was up to me to fix him again! Would attending the temple been a source of refuge for me, OF COURSE! but somehow through those 6 months it never crossed my mind! I ate, slept and breathed my son, and my other children. He may see it differently because he had his own path to walk but this was my path.  My question back was if you knew my recommend was expired why didn't you come to me? He said, he wanted to see if when I would realize it. WOW!!! Thanks so much! I'm sorry I didn't realize it. I'm sorry that the events with one child, our returned missionary and unemployment didn't bring my feet to the temple. I am sorry about that. But, once I obtained my temple recommend and life settled into our new NORM. and I felt our family was strong enough to walk again, I spent many hours in the temple. I went to the temple twice a week and stayed for two sessions if not more each time. Our stake President had issued an invitation to index 500 names each and then I thought it went up to 800 names each! Well, our family met both goals! So, to say I attended the temple twice a week, was 2nd Counselor in RS, and then 1st counselor in YW's during this time, and able to do this doesn't speak I'm one to shirk what is asked of me or required. All 6 of us were able to index 800 names each. (granted I may have signed in on a few of them to help them meet goal).

It no longer mattered to me if he would be able to serve again. What mattered was that my eternal family was in tact. We were united and rallied and supported the aches from within the walls of our home. We had great church support from our church friends. People need to be told how to feel.  So, when asked about job or our son, we told them exactly how to feel. We answered with we are doing well, He is doing well and we have many job prospects, and gave it with a smile.  They left feeling happy and content and no need to worry. Because had we been truthful they would have left with the worry and fear in their hearts and really no one needs to worry about situations unless they can help. So, spare them the details and let them go on happily. 

What mattered was that he would know the gospel was true. That he would continue to strive and want the gospel and an eternal marriage and stay strong in the church. What mattered is that our family was still eternal despite the storms that passed through one on top of the other.  

WE moved to NY and Mr. Incredible worked there for 6 months and he landed a job. Which has it's own very unique, testimony story. We served. We served the branch well. We lived in such drastic living quarters where it was a three bedroom apartment with one bathroom. But, I made it a home and beautiful! We got to live close to my family and strengthened family bonds so strong that, that time could never be replaced. It is something that will stay with my children for a life time and I am so so very grateful for this path and the hardships because it led us to a beautiful rainbow and a pot of gold at the end resulting in family! We love NY! Even though we were there for just the school year my children have good friends there. They love to visit family and to have friends they can be with. If we could only fix those brutal winters it would be heaven!

We have been living in NC for a year now! I have a senior and a freshman left in our home and we have adopted a neapolitan mastiff and have named her Na'ala.  Our beautiful English Mastiff, Kekoa was super stressed from our move to NY from MO. As we were living in my parents house preparing our apartment he ate a box and had nuts and bolts and he just chewed and ate a bunch of things, because of stress. His stomach was bound and he could not pass anything or eat anything without throwing up. We tried the non invasive way, and in a week he became so sick and weak and lost so much weight. He had surgery and did well for a day and then began to have a seizures and I took him back in and he needed something else done and on a very cold day in February of 2014 he passed. It was hard and still is.

We currently serve as YM President and Compassionate Service Leader. I was just released from 2nd Counselor in the YW. I have actively served in the YW for over 20 years and almost all of those were consecutive. It was time and I was so ready to out of the YW's.  Which is odd because I worry so much about YW when I have my own children in there. But, Sweetheart is a Laurel and she only has to finish the Book of Mormon to get her YW medallion and I felt fine not having to be there with her. I am grateful that I was able to serve with all of my children through the youth program and now Dash has Mr. Incredible to watch over him. Our home is very large compared to the 3 bedroom one bath apartment of maybe 1000 sq feet. We have a 5 bedroom 3.5 bath. at 3200sqft., no basement and a postage stamp of a yard! We have more house than we need. Yet, I don't think it is an entertaining home. My things are in it and it's decorated nicely and it feels warm but I just can't love it! I'm not sure what it is. It just doesn't function the way I need it to function. Can we have many people over yes, does it seat well? meh. We've had 3 families from MO come and visit us, in our home and a friend from Utah. It is nice that wherever we move we can still stay in contact with our good friends.   So, this is my story and I'm basically caught up three years in a nutshell.