Ever feel like you are on this road and you just can't get off?? I feel like I have been optimistic and hopeful and maintained the stoic resilient being. But, I gotta tell ya this is getting old! My physical self doesn't handle stress well. I am not happy with the expanding waist size.
While I watch each of my children break down at different times it crushes and pangs my heart to no end! We knew the transition after our wonderful 3 Sunday vacay would be hard. Sweetheart, broke down the first week Mr. Incredible had to leave early Sunday morning and that left an open wound upon Mr. Incredible's heart. When I found out, initially I was really angry at her. We have to send Mr. Incredible on the road believing that all will be fine. We need him in the best of spirits. She told me that she tried hard not to break down and cry when Daddy left but she just couldn't help it and then she broke down and wailed. She felt guilty and so bad that she had shown him her true emotion, and then I cried with her and hugged her and told her she was so special and so loved. She knows he must go and she knows that this is necessary, but knowing things doesn't mean you have to like it.
Week two, after vacay Dash has a break down. Mr. Incredible was kneeling at our bedside saying his prayers silently. Mr. Incredible realized that Dash was kneeling across from him saying his prayers and that he had prayed just as long as just as intently. When Dash finished his silent prayer. Mr. Incredible asked what he was praying for. His prayers were as innocent and pure as a child's should be and they were very direct. Mr. Incredible took heed from Dash's example and realized, he too needed to be as a little child and ask specifically for the desires of his heart. He realized he did not have to beat around a bush, he should be direct and ask directly.
Dash was inconsolable. With each salty warm tear that streaked his face my heart shattered into a million peices and then some. He couldn't utter a word. He could only sob and it would have been easier if you had just plunged a knife through my heart. I can handle anything but I can't handle seeing my children ache. I just can't. Each week the children ask if their dad will be able to go to church with them and each week his reply is no. I know their heart drops because mine does too. But, no tears just drive safe daddy have a good trip.
I think the hardest part for everyone is Mr. Incredible not being able to attend church with us. Our church is so late, it is 2:30pm!! TWO FREAKIN THIRTY! I have decided in order for our family to be together that when he is home we would attend another ward's services. It is what's best for our family now. It's better that we attend as a family and partake of the sacrament together and be edified than to go to our ward without Mr. Incredible.
We are still professionally unemployed. We thank Heavenly Father multiple times throughout the day for employment by my parents! HUGE HUGE blessings! Truly with out this employment life would SUCK!! BIG TIME!!! I shutter to think where we would be.
Approaching our six month anniversary of being unemployed brings a multitude of feelings. Feelings of gratitude and amazement! I can't believe we survived. I can't believe how blessed our family has been, I can't believe the out pouring love and support we have recieved from family! Seriously, we have the best family ever on both sides! My kids are so blessed to have such heritage. I can't believe it isn't more difficult. (OUCH, that is not a request for more)
Mr. Incredible has interviewed for another firm, very similar to his last employment. A better position and most likely more $$, it is also located right here. I can't even bring myself to hope because it is far better to prepare for the worse and be pleasantly surprised. August 11th is a second interview with the big wigs. So, if I hold out till August 11th for their little pow-wow, how much longer must we wait to know if we are hired?? Here is my time frame. Warior has to be in Nebraska August 14th. Dash has a big baseball tournament August 14-16th, and Beauty's birthday is on the 16th not to mention school begins the next week! HELLO!!
I NEED TO GET OFF THIS ROAD
CAUSE I AM SO OVER THIS!!!!
Don't worry I have a counter post coming next.
19 comments:
hang in there. we've been on that road for almost a year now. self imposed.. starting a business in this economy is maybe not the smartest thing to do but it is what the Lord has told us to do. we have lkearned so many lessons and our faith has increased. when i am down my husband holds me up,when he is down, i hold him up. the time is nearing the end but this is a lesson i will keep with me forever! thank you for your sweet testimony.
(i took a picture of a street that was "no name"... i swear! at least we're not on that road!)
Oh lady I hear ya! I sooo hear ya! I have been down this road for about 2 years now, I want to get off, but ya know, I have grown, I have grew a greater testimony and I have realised that in life, nothing matters but family. hang in there, this shall pass! And when It does pull me over to the side also! please!
My kids would be the exact same way if their dad had to be gone like that too!!
One of the fruits of the Spirit is long suffering, and at times like this, our faith gets stretched!!
Hang in there, my friend!!
I hope you get off that road soon too...I can imagine how hard it was to comfort your beautiful heartbroken kids...{hugs}
Our ward is holding a special fast this Sunday for all the unemployed folks in the ward. It is alarmingly high. Sounds like this couldn't hurt for your situation. Good luck to Mr. Incredible and the job interviews. I would love to hear that you are soon on a different road...
Oh my heart just goes out to you all. Stay strong in your faith. He will guide you through and there is a plan here - it stinks sometimes when we don't know the plan but never the less it is the plan and we must stick to the course God has set for us...in the end we all come out stronger for it! My prayers are with you.
2:20 Church?! What the?! And I think that it is a great idea to attend at another time so that you are all together.
Oh, Goose, that breaks my heart about your kids and husband (and your) heart(s) breaking! I can't imagine how difficult that would be.
Good luck to Mr. Incredible on the interview. I think you're philosophy of low expectations is a good one. Very smart.
I'm thinkin' 'bout ya. ♥
dang girl,.,,,,,,
you sure have a lot going on there in that home of yours. i really hope and pray that he gets a job that will pay the bills and make him happy and that will work with you all being able to go to church together. i think you are making a very wise choice in attending anotherward so you can all go together. that is what the gospel is all about... FAMILY.
you are one awesome momma... and i know that there are blessings in store for you and your family :)
so pretty soon you can get off that Dam road.
Oh my goodness! My heart hurts for you having to see your kids hurt like that. My kids haven't had to experience that yet. I really hope we don't. I understand since it's been 6 months for us too. But I don't think I could handle having Troy gone off like that all the time.
Your in prayers.. Things will work out. I hope this job interview works out.
i don't really know what to say except... this post really touched me. thank you for posting it!
Thank you for sharing this. I'm so proud of Mr. Incredible for being willing to do whatever it takes to care for his family. I'm blessed to have that same kind of man. And thank goodness your parents were blessed to be in a position to help out. Fingers crossed on the new job!
Growing up, I came from a rather idylic family life. Then my younger sister got pregnant out of wedlock and we were all shocked. No one had ever screwed up that badly before! We were the perfect little family with honor roll students etc. etc. As I struggled through my image of what kind of family I thought we were being shattered, I told my Mom that maybe we weren't such a good family afterall.
She just looked at me and said, "Good families are not made in the absence of adversity but rather through the handling of it. Before now, we didn't know what kind of family we were. Now we get to find out. So quit the whining about superficial things and get to work helping your sister and showing that we're the kind of family who loves and supports each other no matter what".
In the past months you've gotten to find out just what kind of family you are- except through a different trial. I'd say you're pretty solid!
We will pray that the interview goes well. Hnag in there!! You're road will end!!
My heart goes out to you right now, as I wipe away the tears that are flowing. If I could be there for you I would cry with you.
I was in your shoes not to long ago, it was hard to see what blessings where being prepared. But as I look back to that year of unemployment, I can see now that Heavenly Father was preparing some thing wonderful for our family. The good is coming, the off ramp to a new road is one its way my friend. Hang in there just a bit longer. You can do it!!! Sending a heart felt hug your way.
Goose,
Thank you for such heartfelt words this morning. With tears in my eyes, I too know that blessings come through adversity and all this shall be for our good. Sometimes I and my sisters just want off the road as you said.
My sister's husband has been unemployed since he was diagonosed with lung cancer. It is stage 4 now. Thankfully she got employment with Beehive clothing with better insurance to pay the bills.. :}Blessings continue to pour in...just not the ones she wanted.
I love the idea of attending an earlier ward you can all be together for that very important meeting. And for Dash's sweet and pure prayers. Cherished moment!
May Heavenly Father bless your sweet family and our prayers are with Mr Incredible for the 'Big Wig' meeting!
Hugs, Beth~♥
I just want you to know that you are a GREAT example of courage and faith.
I cannot even imagine how hard this road has been for your family and you have endured valiantly! I hope the "detour" comes mighty soon!!
My heart is there with you. I'm glad Cynthia shared that comment too. So glad we have this blogging world for support! Praying for good things for your family.
We should wave to eachother because we're on that same road, as you know.
I know it's hard. I hope your hub gets that job. best of luck to him and your whole fam!!
It is the worst to see your kids suffer, especially emotionally, but really it will shape them.
I had a crappy childhood sometimes and it has made me a much better person.
Man, I hope that you will get off the road soon. I know it's hard.
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