This is the third Deliciously Dirty post, the previous DD can be found on my side bar.
We spent the rest of every possible minute together. We knew the once long weekend was coming to an abrupt end.
Mr. Handsome had come by my apartment to say "good bye". He came with a long stem rose and a cute card! I was uncomfortable with the formality of everything. I wasn't his girlfriend. We had spent a fun weekend together.
I was a month into my 19th year and this behavior was so strange to me. He said it only had to be good bye because of distance and we shared a long passionate lingering kiss that beckoned for more. He told me he would call when he arrived safely in Provo, but would he.....
The phone rang and I had just come in from running with my roommates. I was already a little breathy. I tried to lower my heart beat and calm myself before I answered the phone. I was hoping it would be Mr. Handsome!
I began to spazz out! I do that a lot under high stress moments. I scream, "What am I going to say, what am I going to say?" "What do I do, what do I do?!" My heart is racing. I feel my veins expand and veins are surfacing on the front of my hands. I look and sound like a junkie just about to get her much needed fix.
My roommates are used to my behavior and talk me down, "Goose, calm down and answer the phone."
I came to my senses and then freaked out again. "I can't answer the phone, YOU answer the phone!"
My roommate Michelle answers the phone. She says hello, and then she starts conversing with him. AHH.... HELLOoooo, over here! Remember me?? Ok, give me the phone. She hands over the phone which seems like an eternity.
"Hello?" in my most sweet slightly elevated voice.
"Hey Baby" (ooohhhh my he just called me baby in his deep sexy southern Texas drawl)
All efforts of lowering my heart rate just went out the window, with the first sound of his voice! I believe I had an out of body moment, But his sexy come hither voice beckoned me back to reality.
"I called because I said I would let you know when I got in."
"I'm so glad you arrived safely. Are you tired?"
"I am, but not now since I'm talking to you."
::silent scream in my head! "AHhhh...I'm really liking this!"
He wanted to be sure he wasn't another NCMO! (non committed make out). A make out is a kiss session. I know others call make outs more. But make outs for me were kiss sessions ONLY and for one night. I was Queen of the NCMO's amongst my roommates. (must clarify for my beloved offspring who read my blog).
I reply, "Don't worry about it! I had a great time. I'm not looking to get married or anything." I felt like this long distance thing was perfect for me. I wasn't looking for anything substantial.
Mr. Handsome said, "Goodnight and I told him the next time he was in my neck of the woods to give me a ring. He intrigued me but I knew I would not call him. I was not a chaser and was rather compliant with whatever happened would happen. I also had a boyfriend back home. Mr. Blue Eyes.I realized I was allowing myself to fall for Mr. Handsome, he was making my heart flutter and my head swim. I only felt like this one other time and that was with Mr. Blue eyes. My roommates saw my inner struggle. They thought it was good that Mr. Handsome came along because after I returned from Winter Break I was depressed from leaving my family and leaving Mr. Blue eyes. I would lay on my bed and play our "tape" and stare at my wall of pictures of him.
We spent the rest of every possible minute together. We knew the once long weekend was coming to an abrupt end.
Mr. Handsome had come by my apartment to say "good bye". He came with a long stem rose and a cute card! I was uncomfortable with the formality of everything. I wasn't his girlfriend. We had spent a fun weekend together.
I was a month into my 19th year and this behavior was so strange to me. He said it only had to be good bye because of distance and we shared a long passionate lingering kiss that beckoned for more. He told me he would call when he arrived safely in Provo, but would he.....
The phone rang and I had just come in from running with my roommates. I was already a little breathy. I tried to lower my heart beat and calm myself before I answered the phone. I was hoping it would be Mr. Handsome!
I began to spazz out! I do that a lot under high stress moments. I scream, "What am I going to say, what am I going to say?" "What do I do, what do I do?!" My heart is racing. I feel my veins expand and veins are surfacing on the front of my hands. I look and sound like a junkie just about to get her much needed fix.
My roommates are used to my behavior and talk me down, "Goose, calm down and answer the phone."
I came to my senses and then freaked out again. "I can't answer the phone, YOU answer the phone!"
My roommate Michelle answers the phone. She says hello, and then she starts conversing with him. AHH.... HELLOoooo, over here! Remember me?? Ok, give me the phone. She hands over the phone which seems like an eternity.
"Hello?" in my most sweet slightly elevated voice.
"Hey Baby" (ooohhhh my he just called me baby in his deep sexy southern Texas drawl)
All efforts of lowering my heart rate just went out the window, with the first sound of his voice! I believe I had an out of body moment, But his sexy come hither voice beckoned me back to reality.
"I called because I said I would let you know when I got in."
"I'm so glad you arrived safely. Are you tired?"
"I am, but not now since I'm talking to you."
::silent scream in my head! "AHhhh...I'm really liking this!"
He wanted to be sure he wasn't another NCMO! (non committed make out). A make out is a kiss session. I know others call make outs more. But make outs for me were kiss sessions ONLY and for one night. I was Queen of the NCMO's amongst my roommates. (must clarify for my beloved offspring who read my blog).
I reply, "Don't worry about it! I had a great time. I'm not looking to get married or anything." I felt like this long distance thing was perfect for me. I wasn't looking for anything substantial.
Mr. Handsome said, "Goodnight and I told him the next time he was in my neck of the woods to give me a ring. He intrigued me but I knew I would not call him. I was not a chaser and was rather compliant with whatever happened would happen. I also had a boyfriend back home. Mr. Blue Eyes.I realized I was allowing myself to fall for Mr. Handsome, he was making my heart flutter and my head swim. I only felt like this one other time and that was with Mr. Blue eyes. My roommates saw my inner struggle. They thought it was good that Mr. Handsome came along because after I returned from Winter Break I was depressed from leaving my family and leaving Mr. Blue eyes. I would lay on my bed and play our "tape" and stare at my wall of pictures of him.
A month after and I was dating just for fun, no relationships,no strings. I had decided I was just going to date and enjoy being in college! (and then entered Mr. Handsome)
Our phone conversation left me feeling like we would not see each other again. Mr. Handsome was staying in Provo and if he happened to be 3 hours in my direction, he would give me a ring. So no attachment and no reason to tell Mr. Blue eyes.
HOWEVER
Mr. Handsome called me everyday twice a day until the weekend. We talked about everything to nothing. I became addicted to hearing his beautiful voice on the other end. Hearing his voice at the end of a busy day was just what the Doctor ordered, the Love Doctor. I believe I was smitten. But, how could I be? We had only known each other for a mere weekend and had spoken each day for a week. But, those late night talks of sharing and opening broke down walls that would have never come down had we gone out every day. It's that physical attraction and business that gets in the way.
I said goodnight to him and had not realized that that would be the last time I would hear from him. I had just expected to get my routine morning call. But the call had never come. What had happened? I was left with feeling lost and a bit unstable. I questioned myself as to why I had allowed myself to become so dependant on his mere phone calls and on him. I was bothered but hid those feelings of disappointments from my roommates. I finally resolved, "Oh well", It was nice while it lasted and good knowing ya ...
