Foundation of Faith

A Foundation of Faith

“If we do not have a deep foundation of faith and a solid testimony of truth, we may have difficulty with standing the harsh storms and icy winds of adversity which inevitably come to each of us.

“Mortality is a period of testing, a time to prove ourselves worthy to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father. In order for us to be tested, we must face challenges and difficulties. These can break us, and the surface of our souls may crack and crumble—that is, if our foundations of faith, our testimonies of truth are not deeply embedded within us.”
for the entire article, please click here.

We have gone through many trials and adversity that would have cracked many but this past trial of unemployment I believe did leave a crack in my exterior but not my foundation. If anything it fortified and strengthened. I'm thankful for my parents for instilling this belief in me and more importantly my mother. She has been stoic. She has had to rear 3 children as a single mother. My father was always on the road earning us a living and providing for us and for our physical and temporal needs, I adore him but for my spiritual nourishment it has been through observing my mother's example. She has served in so many countless ways and always sacrificing her own wants, needs and desires. My father has also been a great example of unselfish service and unconditional love. I truly, do have two wonderful parents.
They are people who have done their best and I know that's all Heavenly Father asks of each of us. I know I falter as a parent myself, but I try my best and when I learn better I do better. It's not about comparing or being the best, it's about being the best YOU that you can be.  I have seen my mother kneel in prayer when she thought we were all asleep, I have heard her bare testimony many times in my childhood of the truthfulness of the Gospel. I have seen her write in her journal. I have seen much. I have also seen my Father share and bare his testimony in word but more times in actions and deeds and you know the saying about actions are stronger than words. This holds true for him! I know that he loves the Lord and he serves with every breath he has.

Through my husband's family I have seen the strength of the priesthood power and the strength of the gospel flow through from generation to generation. I have learned that it took the strength of one great woman, who did not allow her husband to stand in the way of her taking her children to church, he could stay home but they would walk 3 miles and attend church, that is faith of a strong woman. With or without the support of her husband she knew where she needed to be and because of her strength her testimony grew into 5 children, she would cart off to church into each of them having strong faithful families! This is not to say that all are strong active members in the church and that all have been to the temple. However, it is less than ONE hand! But, it is to say that all members on my side as well as the Solomon side are good, productive, helpful, giving people who value family and wholesome values.

It makes me ponder about the foundation of faith I am laying for my posterity. I am not a good journal keeper at all and my trials and victories are recorded in my memories and even that is failing me. 
 I know I have a faith that is strong that has weathered me through my teenage years. I wasn't perfect but I wasn't awful and I struggled with most things that teens struggle with. I'm so grateful that I never got involved or tried drugs. I have a pretty addictive personality as it is.  I will go 110% in, until I master it and then I toss it aside like an old rag doll. As a teen I always believed that God's hand was in my life and could be in my life if I allowed Him to be. I believed that I could be an instrument to be good and as I followed promptings or little inspirations and thoughts that would come to my mind it made me feel good and I saw it blessed others as well.
If I felt that I should smile at someone in the hall or say hello, I did. Sometimes, I was greeted with a warm hello or smile back and other times it was pretty prickly which made me question why did I even bother and left me feeling annoyed. BUT, you have no idea what the domino effect can be from you listening to those promptings.

Faith as a young expecting mother to know when told she would have to deliver her baby 10 weeks early and the gravity that would mean to both of our lives. I knew I needed to turn to our Father in Heaven. I sought for a blessing and clung to those words.

Faith that even though I couldn't see the end picture to know that the trial and the storm I was going through as a young mother of 3 would only be but a moment yet at the time it felt like an eternity and that I was the only one who had ever trialed this. Faith to know that I needed to do everything on my part by praying, reading the scriptures and serving others would save me from my own depths of despair and provide answers and a softened heart to feel the gentle promptings of the Lord to help my young family and marriage. Faith that I wanted to quit and throw the towel in to believe in the promises of a temple marriage.

Faith when our last child was born and I had a dream pregnancy until my 6th month and in a matter of days everything changed. Three children at home. Bill would take them to school when he left for work and I would drive 45 min one way to pick them up. Or If I had to bring them to school at Irwin Elementary in Charlotte I would stay at Concord Mill with a 2 year old in a stroller and pregnant until school got out so I wouldn't have to drive all the way back home. But, it was faith that got me through 52 days of him in the NICU. I, also was in the ICU and at one point he was doing better than I.  I did believe that it could be my time and it was then that I knew if it was the children would be ok.

It took two years of exercised faith as we entered the hospital almost every month because our baby had RSV and couldn't breath but when he was 9 months old it was the most exertion of faith I have had to dig for.  He had struggled breathing while eating and I had a hard day with him feeding him and having to suction him because he would turn purple his machine would go off and try to bring him around so when I had the opportunity to go to a church RS meeting I jumped at it so quickly I forgot to warn my husband of the AWFUL time we had which resulted in the ambulance coming out to our home 3 times before they rushed him in ambulance with lights to the closest hospital which didn't have the medical tools needed to help him so we had to sit and wait until he stabilized and struggled and weakened with each minute. It was frustrating because they couldn't air flight him and they couldn't transport him because he was so precariously teedering between life and death and they needed to intubate him but didn't have anything small enough to do so! UGH!!! When I heard the news I rushed to the hospital and saw them working on my small baby 1 doctor and 2 nurses and I felt they weren't saving him right, LOL. But, they didn't know how to suction him right so he could breathe quicker. I wanted to get in and show them but I didn't. Then when he turned a cadaver gray and was so tired I was so scared and ran outside knowing that this child needs a blessing. I didn't care that it was 1:30 in the am! I called our Bishop, Bishop Mahler his wife answered he was out of town, I called two other people I could think of that were near by I couldn't get them another was out of town. I was panicked! Finally at about 2:15 we got a blessing and the dr was adamant to say if anything happens we are coming in- they stood behind a drawn curtain.  FAITH- Within the half hour he was able to be stabilized and transported by ambulance to the hospital uptown.

Faith when same child got RSV again despite his RSV shots he got monthly! He would do so well get the shots and land him in the hospital! UGH!! His little body had gone through so much from birth and being intubated that he had scarring and his body was tired of breathing and the dr's wanted to put him in an induced coma to help him breathe and his body wouldn't have to work so hard. However, they said it would cause more scarring which isn't good and they would give him 24 hours to see which way he would fall. I had already been at the hospital for a 5 days with barely a shower. I truly was afraid if I left him he would die! His alarms would go off because he wasn't breathing. I would be there helping him and the alarms still ringing but then when I couldn't get him to breathe I would frantically hit the call button and scream you need to get down here and help me he's purple. This happened too many times that I couldn't leave. Bill, could tell that I was a looney tune and he made me go home and shower and see the other children and he would spend the night. I left that afternoon exhausted and defeated.  I had a good heart to heart with HF in the shower and cried unto him saying I cant do it anymore. I am fighting so hard for him to stay with me, if you want him take him. As I got out of the shower the phone rang and I saw it was the hospital I was so afraid to answer it and I shakingly said Hello. It was Bill and he said the Dr came in and said that Dash had made the turn for the better and he would not be induced.  Have you ever felt so deflated that you gave your will up to Heavenly Father?

I have faith in smaller things. Faith I will get home ok, faith to trust my instincts, faith to believe that everything will turn out ok even if it is harder and faith in the trial to know that there is lesson that to be learned.

QUOTE

Quote“I fear that many of us rush about from day to day taking for granted the holy scriptures. We scramble to honor appointments with physicians, lawyers, and businessmen. Yet we think nothing of postponing interviews with Deity—postponing scripture study. Little wonder we develop anemic souls and lose our direction in living. How much better it would be if we planned and held sacred fifteen or twenty minutes a day for reading the scriptures. Such interviews with Deity would help us recognize his voice and enable us to receive guidance in all of our affairs. We must look to God through the scriptures” (Carlos E. Asay, in Conference Report, Oct. 1978, p. 79; or Ensign, Nov. 1978, pp. 53–54)

I have struggled off and on with this! I have made it thing that before I get on any social media that I must read the Book of Mormon.  Those times that I had to drive the kids to seminary I took the time to also read and to study! Our time in NY was really a time that I was able to focus fully on the scriptures! Mr. Incredible was gone or home each night but it was always so late that he came home, showered and was exhausted from the trials of the day and needed to wake early in the morning.  I didn't think it was so much difficult. I just felt like it was the stage in our lives where this is what we all needed to do. The children had to adjust to his different schedule the most! I know they longed and yearned to have his time like they were used to but they too grew and adjusted!

I know that taking this time to reflect with God and to listen to what his plans are for myself and my family helped so much. I felt slow to anger, and slow to let little grievances of others or trials that a day may bring they were less likely to stir feelings of disappointment, anger or resentment! Life is so good and I am so blessed that I have an amazing family and that the gospel of Jesus Christ is in my life! I know that it is true. It may be difficult at times but those are the times that we truly need to turn to the scriptures and to the words of latter day prophets. They will bring comfort and disperse all darkness.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen!

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St. Louis Temple

Since moving to MO, Mr. Incredible and I have been able to attend the temple as frequently as we wish! It is such a blessing to be able to go any day and any time! It is a full service temple and I love that! I love that I am in a season of my life where I can give my time to the Lord and spending time in the house of the Lord! 

We had been attending the temple once a month and then we moved it to once a week! Our Bishop had asked each person during an interview if there were something more that we could do. I gasped and was I'm already going once a week!! so, I committed that I would attend twice a week! I asked if I could do TWO sessions in one day and count that as twice a week. He told me that would be up to me and I felt that was right to do! So, since Mr. Incredible is a temple worker and he works on Tuesday I attend the temple and do two endowment sessions! I love walking through the temple doors and the workers know me by name! It's sweet and tender and perhaps in the next life, it will be similar!

I know attending has blessed my life and my daily life. I have a spirited nature and can get irritated over simple things. I'm not saying I'm the sweetest person but I will say, I'm glad I attend and keep my feet rooted in the gospel because I KNOW because of my religion I do not go CRAZY on people, and that is a blessing both to myself and the other person! I'm quite amazed at the restraint and calm that I have when dealing with others, who are non family members. To my family, I can just say I am working on it and I'm trying! In the mean time, sit back and go to your happy place and breathe in these flowers! Oh, if only screens had scratch and sniff!! I have seen too much and have had far too many blessings to ever deny that this church is not true! I know it! I love it, and I'm living it!

Temple Sealing and Adoptions! March 2013

I have decided that it is important that I just get memories documented and I know it goes against my highly organized OCD personality but I truly believe that we will be accounted for how well we kept a journal of the experiences in this life and the blessings! So, I am basically going through my phone pictures and my computer pictures and writing about all those things I can remember! Which perhaps may be the sweetest and I can sift through the unimportant petty things and truly document what is necessary and needful!

My brother and sister in law have had adoption come across their hearts and through a few failed adoption processes they have come full circle and found these amazing children! 

I thought about adoption but it was never forefront in my mind. It was always if it is meant to be, they will literally drop in my lap and I wouldn't have to do anything but would just no. After meeting A and T for the first time we left TN so bright eyed and in adoption land! I scoured the internet and had known that my brother and sister in law truly blessed the lives of these children and that they too would bless and change them. I think I had adoption rose colored glasses on. 

When I was 30 and was told that Dash would be our last biological baby I was heartbroken but had known that the Lord blessed us so abundantly with FOUR beautiful children, already. He had known that I could not and would struggle making the decision for myself to not have any more and I would probably die trying. My answer was clear concise and bitter sweet! After he was born there was no doubt about it that he would be the last and I very quickly wrapped my head around that. I knew I was sick and laying in the ICU at one point, I resolved that if I had fulfilled my mission as my patriarchal blessing said, than I had done enough and would move on to the next step. I am so grateful that the Lord chose to continue to bless me with so many life experiences. So, I closed my mind to entertaining having any more children and moving on to the next season of my life. 

Watching their new family was so sweet. I was moved more to the thought of blessing children's lives. I make no qualms or pretenses that I think we are perfect and handle everything correctly to take on the responsibility of rearing another person's children BUT I do know that we can love unconditionally and we can discipline in love and teach children to love and know God. I knew we were out of the diaper stage and then it came to the children deciding on ages etc. WE went into depths but when it came down to it, our answer was no and it continues to be so! 

But, for this lucky family their answer was yes! and life has been so rich for them! I was so glad we were able to attend their temple sealing and enjoy the weekend with them! 

Thanksgiving 2014- Y Friends

So, we were doubly blessed this year with so many amazing friends and family and an abundance of blessings! We are so blessed to be here in Harrisburg and blessed by the circumstances which led us here and blessed that we get to live so close to our son and daughter-in-law! Life is so good and I have such a wonderful life! Even when things were harder I still had such a beautiful life! As, I look back on the past I reminisce and smile and sigh because I see how far we have come and that we have done it twice. I look and see the times of struggle and worry from the day we made a beginning as husband and life and I am so amazed and see How Great Thou Art!! 

I am so grateful, so blessed and so lucky! Without those times of struggle it wouldn't have defined who I am, individually, who Mr. Incredible is or each one of our children. My canvas of life is one of the most amazing pieces of artwork to be seen! I can't wait til that day when I will the Lord will show me it! I will see glorious hues of bright vibrant colors and the sweetest most tender whispers of pastels and intermingled and what defines and brings depth and definition will be those times of struggle and strife, and trials and what path may have seemed hard or unbearable with the guidance of the Master's Hand it has become in those moments who I knew who I really am and who my family is and the stock they are made of! I am so grateful for these beautiful women in my life! They have blessed, helped and supported our sweet family and are so grateful they are part of my beautiful canvas of life!

It sure is nice to look back and see this boy back in the seat again! It feels like everything is right in the world again! This is where he belongs right with the Solomon Family!!! 

Lessons from a Rubber Band

 

 On Sunday, I was released from being 2nd Counselor in YW's. I had been ready for a change. I had served for a long time in the program! I did not know where I would be placed and secretly hoped I could have a few months off. I accepted the calling as Compassionate Service Leader for our ward. Although, it is a new calling for me, it is not unfamiliar and seems like it has always been part of the fabric of my soul. While sitting in sacrament meeting the thought came to me about a rubber band. I quickly went to the Relief Society President and asked if I could say a few quick words!

    Service has been a part of the Youth theme this year. D&C 4:2  Therefore, O ye that embark in the service of God, see that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind and strength, that ye may stand blameless before God at the last day.

I quickly ran to the library and got as many rubber bands as I could have and headed off to Relief Society. I greeted each sister who was there with a toothy welcome to Relief Society and handed them a rubber band!
Some took it willingly and smiled back! What a pleasure.
Some were cautious but accepted. (understandable)
Some didn't want to take it all. (it's an ugly rubber band) What if it was a cupcake? I had to keep smiling and convince them to please take it and it would be OK, it was part of my object lesson. (oomph, slight deflation)

This was impromptu and I needed to keep this to a quick TWO MINUTES!! Me?? 2 minutes?? YIKES!! I did it! I asked them each to do a quick stretch! Let their arms and chest open. Feel that stretch! I asked, didn't that feel good?? Then I asked them to stretch their rubber bands! I told them as their Compassionate Service leader I was going to ask them to s-t-r-e-t-c-h and for the most part, it would feel good but there would be times in their lives where there rubber band would be stretched and SNAP and it would HURT! I snapped the rubber band onto my wrist. During these times they would have to re-evaluate the things in their lives that are important and RE-PRIORITIZE so that the service they were asked to render would fall into the top 3 things to get accomplished for the day! I testified that if they did Heavenly Father would bless them that the things they thought they had to get to or had to do would somehow get worked out or covered. Their minds would be at ease what they had to let go, in order to accomplish this service!!! I know this to be true! I know that when you prioritize service for another whom you have stewardship over, the Lord will make a way for you to accomplish it! Like Nephi of Old- 1Nephi 3:7  And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: Iwill go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shal prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

It is important to OBSERVE then SERVE! I have gained a testimony from this ward that it is crucial to be IN THE HOMES of the families you have stewardship over! Many times people will say they have are fine or they have it covered. Sometimes, they very well may believe this. The Lord for whatever purpose has blessed my life with opportunities, experiences, and trials that have allowed me to understand things far beyond my years. So, If I appear to be a know it all, on somethings GUESS what, I am! The things that I do not know I'm quiet and observe!

And such it is with service! Some will serve willingly the minute they hear of a need, others may be a bit cautious and others, need to know every detail why there is a service required. I used to be this type of person. I was a PRE-QUALIFIER! I wanted to know who needed a meal and why? I wanted to know the entire story before I decided if I thought that person was worthy of my time or service! Pretty crappy of me, huh?? I was more apt to serve if it was something I deemed worthy. Who am I, God?? The fact is someone asked and someone needs! My responsibility is not to pre-qualify but to answer the call with a YES or a NO! I had decided years ago, not to ask any questions or get the back ground story. If someone called for a meal, blessing, ride etc. I didn't want to know the reasons why. I needed to answer YES or NO. 
I leave this post King Benjamin did not ask of his people what he wasn't willing to do himself. I want to serve my sisters. I want to serve with them. I want to serve next to them and I want us to serve God, together. I know that our ward can move mountains, if we let Him work through us! (I think this is going to be one of my most fun callings. Perhaps because it is a new frontier to embark on)
 Mosiah 2:16-17 

1. Behold, I say unto you that because I said unto you that I had spent my days in your service, I do not desire to boast, for I have only been in the service of God.17 And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn ^awisdom; that yemay learn that when ye are in the ^bservice of your ^cfellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.

Defenders of the Family Proclamation

This month's visiting teaching message is we can choose from any of the conference talks from April! I'm choosing one from each Conference session! Defenders of the Family Proclamation!

Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson speaks on three points of boldly defending the Lord's doctrine pertaining to Marriage, families, divine roles of men and women and the importance of our home and sacred places.

This is from the Women's conference! 

Oprah Winfrey had Maria Shriver on her show and Maria shared a story of what it was like to be in her home! it hit me as poignant and something that I was going to implement in my own home. She had mentioned or wrote in her book about being the only girl with four brothers and coming from a highly competitive family in everything but her father was adamant about when they walked through those doors they would only be kind to each other. That the world tears you down but in their home, in those doors was their safe place, a haven. I knew I wanted that too. I knew how cruel and hard the world is on you, and the negative feed back our children are fed daily from music, friends, teachers etc, even church. But, in the walls of our home they would not have that! I have tried and I have failed somewhat as well, but it has been an active goal to accomplish! 

I honor and love being a mother! It is my most aspired career! anything else I labor for and get paid for is a just a job but motherhood is my career! I educate myself in how to decorate our home, make whiter clothes, cook, clean every aspect of my career my goal is to excel. I want to be respectful of my husband's job and the money he earns! I don't want to spend it frivolously. I want him to be with us and for our children to find happiness in moments and not in things! I am glad that Mr. Incredible has set our divine rolls as nurturer, mother and father as his top priority as well! 

The choices I have made for and behalf of my family are mine and not all have worked but all were made with the intentions of doing what I felt was best. There is not one plan of what works for one will work for another. We are so different and such individuals who have different strengths and weaknesses! We need to be prayerful and turn to the Lord for inspiration and guidance so we can align our will with His. 

Attributes of Jesus-Long Suffering and Patience

For the Month of March the visiting teaching message is learning Long Suffering and Patience! You can read more about here!

I really loved the words by President Uchtdorf this month!!
Patience is often thought of as a quiet, passive trait, but as President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, said, “Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something … even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!

These words in bold are so true we don't just sit back and say what comes will come! and not just enduring it but enduring it well! I know that we have had to be patient in waiting on the Lord and that I had to have enough faith that the Lord knew I had to trial to become a better stronger me! I'm so grateful that each trial which at times have seen overwhelming that I plowed through it, endured and was able to see the sun and the bigger blessing!

President Uchtdorf continued, “Patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith. It means being ‘willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father’ [Mosiah 3:19]. Ultimately, patience means being ‘firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord’ [1 Nephi 2:10] every hour of every day, even when it is hard to do so.”¹

Patience to stand firm and steadfast and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord. I have often felt like a duck on water. I may look calm and peaceful but underneath you are paddling like heck to stay afloat! I tried to always be strong for my children and others when inside I was anxiously waiting for the Lord to attend to me. Paddling like heck to do the daily tasks and fulfill callings, being ACTIVELY patient on the Lord. Continuing to do the things I knew to be right, to serve willfully and to give openly, even when it is hard to do. To be submissive to the Lord and knowing that in His time he would take care! I have heard many ask me how did you get through that, how did you do it? I still have no answer and sometimes I think did I get through it? But, the answer is You have no other choice! You just do it. You see what has to be done and you do it! You don't have time to sit and wait for someone else to take care of it and the number one thing that has gotten me and us through everything is FAMILY and sticking together. We are united in purpose and like a flock of geese is one injured we rally around them honk to encourage them and we are the wind beneath their wings. If you have never learned of the formation of geese as they fly you should read it, it's quite incredible!

Visitnig Teaching JAN 2015

I'm going to back track a bit because I want these on my social media sites and I want these on my blog! Now, that I can finally blog after 5 years of sparse entries! So, some pictures will be a back track of things and memories that I remember from the pictures! I want to capture moments, feelings and memories again! The hand out came from Marci Coombs

WE are focusing on the attributes of Christ and this month it is Obedience! I love that these messages are to strengthen and make us better and more Christlike! The message can be found here.

The scriptures teach “when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated” (D&C 130:21). Our spiritual growth takes place as we draw close to God through obedience and invite the power of the Savior’s Atonement into our lives.

“As we walk in obedience to the principles and commandments of the gospel of Jesus Christ,” said Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “we enjoy a continual flow of blessings promised by God in His covenant with us. Those blessings provide the resources we need to act rather than simply be acted upon as we go through life. … Obedience gives us greater control over our lives, greater capacity to come and go, to work and create.”²

I've had to work on being willingly obedient! I may obey but at times I do it begrudgingly or because I am suppose to or because it is expected to me! It has been great to do it because I truly want to! To do it because I decided to and it has been nice to feel that as I let go of the natural desires to be selfish to see the attribute of true obedience bless my life! Willfully obedient! Life is good and the gospel of Jesus Christ is so empowering and liberating! Would you like to know more? Please check us out at lds.org!

Decisions Determine Our Destiny!

When I lived in MO our Relief Society made 12x12 Tiles with vinyl lettering that read "Decisions Determine our Destiny", it is a quote from our prophet Thomas S. Monson which was first given in 1979!  and then more recently he gave an address found here.

Today I opened up my instagram and my heart got an INSTANT HUG or should I say an INSTA hug? I've seen this quote many times and we have it in our home but it meant more because it was posted by WARRIOR! I love him so and even though he is married and just recently celebrated his 24th birthday I still worry for him. Perhaps, it is because he is my first born but he makes my heart smile. Maybe because he was the brave one who chose to forge the way and take a chance on me that I would be the best mother to him which then convinced his three siblings to take a chance on me to be their mother and for that I am eternally grateful!

But this 24 year old man, who will always be my little boy, still loves his birthdays and celebrates them an moments with families with the same vigor that he had when he was 20 years younger! I love that!

 
But, he posted this picture and these words and if you know me on instagram than you know I HASHTAG the heck out of everything! I think it is comical to use hashtags and my children not so much! They are embarrassed by my hashtags so for the last year or so, I have tried to taper the hashtags.
 

I couldn't be more proud and I love he rocked his HASHTAGS! Sometimes, God answers the prayers of your heart in the sweetest ways! This was one of them! " Go forth and Go forward and may the decisions that you choose bring the Destiny you see!

TRICKERY

I continue to trick myself and tell myself for the past few years that two of my four children are grown and I no longer need to worry. But, the insane thing is when I married almost 26 years ago this July, amidst all the unwanted, unwarranted incessant words of advice when we first married or had our first child NO ONE truly gave me words of advice that would resonate or impact me as important as these words of advice I would soon realize almost two years after we married. So here it is! Two of the most important things I think a couple should know (kid wise)

1. The concept of marriage and children and having a happily ever after takes constant WORK, and I mean all capitalized! Having a beautiful garden and having it smile back at you takes constant tending and nurturing and fertilizing. You must pull the weeds out as they sprout and not wait until your garden is over taken and it makes for well set roots of deeper weeds and are sometimes so hard to pull out. Very much like a marriage and a relationship with your child! BUT, I feel duped or somewhat lied to or perhaps at 22 when we had our first born brought to us 10 weeks premature. I may have been viewing life through rose colored glasses!

2. You don't always stay in that happily ever after mode. Real life sets in and real bills come in and real expectations take over.

3. NO ONE told me the true importance of having a baby. I was always approached with WHEN do you two plan on having a baby, and Oh children are so fun, they are such a blessing and TRULY they are! But, how about getting down to the nitty gritty! When you choose to have a baby you are choosing to put aside your life and completely nurture and grow another life NOT for 10 years not for 20 years but for the rest of your life! You will continue to worry and love as soon as that heart begins beating inside your body!

4. I was under the fallacy of when my children turned 18, I could have my life back! Well, my oldest and my youngest are 10 years apart! But, then somewhere in the middle priorities change for the best as I learned to let go of the good and the better to reach for the best and my life's ambitions are more family geared than they were when I first set out on the journey of being a wife and a mother.

5. I remember when our oldest took out his own endowments when he was 19 and we went through the temple together! I had inhaled a glorious eternal breath and exhaled and thought to myself as I hugged him in the Celestial Room of the St. Louis, MO Temple. My work is done. I have accomplished all I can do as a parent. FOOLED AGAIN!

6. Almost 3 years later our oldest married in the Washington D.C. Temple in Kennsington, MD and this is where I raised my arms in celebration! YES, I am done! One child given back to the Lord! All saving ordinances have taken place.

But, does a true gardener ever leave their garden? Aren't they always pruning and fertilizing and weeding? And so it is true with parenthood. and that is the MOST IMPORTANT words of advice! When you make the choice to be a parent you are choosing to care and worry about all areas that your DNA footprint will have until your last breath. So, there is never a I'm done. But, more of a let me sit back and watch! Let's see how well I tended this plant. Will it grow and bloom and MOST importantly will it whether the storms, or the weeds when hard times comes or when someone else forgets to tend to the soil? Is there enough fortitude in this once little plant to withstand the elements?

I have a wonderful glimpse of what our loving Heavenly Father must feel. Did He nurture us enough while we were in his presence to withstand the elements of our earth life and as we progress and treat one another and curb our desires, wants and needs to be more Christlike and tend to the needs of others, does he smile as we continue to progress and think I'm almost done. I'm one step closer to not worrying? No, He will never stop worrying and never stop watching and smiling with our triumphs and hurting with our failures. He will never stop until we are safely home with him again!

DANDELIONS.... finding the pretty amongst the weeds

Gone are the dandelions and gone are the days where my children were little. How many countless dandelions made it through my front doors of each home we have lived in.
How many endless smiles were given as my children so proudly handed me a beautiful a yellow weed, sometimes pristine and perfect and other times limp and lifeless. I always received them with great joy and happiness and would keep them in a small glass with water until they would wither away and die and I would toss them to the can, always a bit sad.

I love the dandelions. They are a symbol of innocence and pure love. I guess if asked what my favorite flower I would have to say a dandelion. WHAT?? It's not a flower, it is to me. Of course, I have a few other favorites but none hold a light to that of a beautiful dandelion. It represents my children and their ability to see beauty in the smallest things and to know to act immediately! They don't worry if it isn't good enough, or pricey enough. All they know is they see it and think of me and know that I would love it!

A dandelion symbolizes pure love. My beautiful children with light in their eyes would be out playing and stop dead in their tracks and pick something that they deemed beautiful and who did they want to give it to? Not to their friends, not to their dads, or any one other than to me, their mother. They thought of me and they picked it and with all adoring love gifted it to me! I love that pure innocence. I love that pure intent, not being worried of cost, or of looks or if it was the right size.

Early into our marriage when Warrior was three or four years old. He would bring me bouquets of flowers. Mr. Incredible was so busy working 60 hours and sometimes more, along with holding down 18 credits and making the Dean's list. How he did it, I have no idea. I believe he was on auto pilot and to make things even more challenging I was pregnant and on bed rest! I also felt neglected at times. I wasn't a needy wife, perse' but I did need some reassurance from time to time. I whined that I was being forgotten and he wasn't spending time with me or Warrior. (GEE, I wonder when I would like him to, time was definitely a rare commodity between that and his church calling. But, it was through a small boy, our boy that taught us many lessons! That life can be simple and it's not in the cost of the gift but to know that you are thought of.

I let Mr. Incredible know that I wanted him to bring me home weeds too! That Warrior could see something and in his eyes he saw beauty but more importantly that he thought of ME!.

One day Mr. Incredible brought me home a dandelion also. I laughed and then I cried because he heard me and thought of me and during such chaos and trial he remembered to stop and smell the dandelions and give thanks for all that was good in our lives! We since learned that if I was ever feeling like I needed extra love I would set an empty vase outside the door. Not to be filled immediately but that week, with either flowers or a little extra TLC! Placing the vase by the front door helped to ward off storms in our marriage and strengthen each other. Lessons from a dandelion and a little boy. God truly teaches us through our little ones. If we observe them we can learn so much.

A rose - The lesson of a rose

Shelle's post prompted my response. She doesn't mind sharing the goods on her other blog! She  is always a great read. She is young beautiful and I love that she She said she felt like she became more beautiful because of her children like she didn't know who she was early on in marriage. Really just click over and read what I'm talking about.

My response was I think of it like you were a beautiful rose bud. And with life experiences you blossomed and became a beautiful rose but we all know what happens after a rose blooms....it withers and dies. I threw that into just keeping her humble. But my response really prompted a true feeling.
Seriously, I hope that I pace myself and bloom and spread my petals daily because I look forward to each knew ray of sunshine that each day brings. I want to see grandchildren. etc,
but I hope that when my petals shall all fall that they would fall in the right time, when all of color has left the petal and when the last petal has shrivelled I would have known and my family and friends would have known it was a good life and the fragrance of the wilted petal would linger on in a sachet of sort like a beautiful memory.
I am 40, I don't see myself living to 100 so I have about spent half my life. I am being a better care taker and gardner of my rose. I am careful to be nourished only in the things that truly matter and are lasting to my family. I keep myself protected from the harsh winds by going to church, attending the temple and finding joy in serving. I have learned to take and prune a few of my thorns off through experience and repentance and tolerance. By learning to accept the things I can not change and still willing to change the things I can.
Thanks Shelle for prompting such an emotion from me.

Seeker of Light

As my family grows and my interests have changed I have struggled to where I want to see my blogging go. I'm happy to be back typing my thoughts.

 I recently was on a photo shoot with a beautiful young woman. Our session began at 4pm and for about 20 minutes we dealt with light that cast a bit of a cold blue haze. But, as we continued shooting and moving around the pond the magical twilight hour came upon us and kissed her hair, cheeks and eyes!

 It was beautiful and incredible and every photo taken was breathtaking and gorgeous!!! I was so excited and thrilled and I just knew she was going to love every single shot. We were able to relax and pose and change outfits and take our time and everything had that golden glow around.

I noticed the trees around us were casting deep shadows and we had to seek higher ground. We began gathering our things and moving around and searching for the perfect spot, once again. When you are a natural light photographer, you are always seeking the light. We found another spot in the park with great lighting and I was able to fire off three or more pics before we had to gather and move our things, once more.

We were always seeking the light. We would search for it, find it and get there and have to move again. Previously, those very same areas were perfectly lit. The sun shone all around us but as the sun continued to journey across the sky and begin to set, our feet continued to hurry faster seeking it.
We finally went to higher ground and we were able to shoot for another 15 minutes of having a beautiful glow behind her and then the final minutes came where it became too dark to shoot.

 As I relate it to a gospel principles I realized that we truly are seekers of light. I seek for the light that brings out the best in their hair, eyes and skin and as a photographer, I will move around until I find it. In my personal life I seek for light that brings out the best in me and my family. I revel and bask when we find that perfect spot of warmth and comfort and familiarity. When the light shines on your face and it's the perfect temperature and you close your eyes and breathe it all in, only to give a beautiful exhale and release all stress, anxiety, fear and negativity.
As we were scrambling and running to the next area with perfect lighting, I realized we couldn't be there for long. We had to continually move because our light source was moving. I learned that sometimes what can start off good and appropriate can change and we need to recognize and be aware of where our light source is and if it is moving we must be willing to move with it.

It was a physical manifestation that when I got to higher ground I was able to bask in the once fleeting light a little longer. It matters where we stand. If we are going to be seekers of light we must stand in holy places.  May we always seek out the best of all things. Strive to be a little better and make a change in the world. One person can make a difference.  In Doctrine and Covenants 109:  7 And as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom, seek learning even by study and also by faith;    

  to see more images from this session please go to http://chrys-tell-clearphotography.blogspot.com/2014/12/miss-r-charlotte-nc-senior-photographer.html 
           

Suicide

I'm back tracking a bit in time! October 2nd was such General Conference we were able to watch the Saturday session but recorded the Sunday session because our family attended a funeral of the Mr.'s co-worker's son, Adam. Her son had struggled a year ago and was working through things and doing well. He had depression and Sunday, they laid his body to rest. He committed suicide.
It prompted a good conversation with our children. We wanted them to know that there is nothing that they could do that should even bring to mind taking their lives. We know life is hard and offers trials that seem overwhelming. We let them know that sometimes there will be pain so great that you may think it easier to die. Do not entertain such thoughts. Do not dance with the devil. For these thoughts are from him.
We all attended such a lovely service but it was so heart breaking to hear such audible sadness. They were not members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, they were of another faith. I felt for them. I ached for them too. However, they do believe in a life after. Suicide leaves the living left with feelings of guilt, what if, could of, should of.
It brought questions to my mind. Is it a Latter Day Saint thing? I have always heard that the Lord will not give you more than you can handle. Where is that written, who said that? And, is it because I heard that and was told that I know that my trials are able to be overcome? Clearly, his trials were more than he could handle. Did someone not tell him? I DEFINITELY believe and understand that our life is a GIFT it is not for us to TAKE it is only our Father in Heaven's. I know there have been members of the church who have committed suicide. There trial was more than they could bare. I know the Lord has the perfect plan. I know He will be the only one who will offer us his saving mercy.
Adam's passing allowed us to re-itterate to our children our love, our Savior's love and the glorious gift of the atonement and all that it entails! I too, wrote that day to our son, who was serving his mission and bore to him my testimony of the gospel.
I let him know, as I testified to our other children that there is nothing that they could do or say that would keep us from loving them. There is nothing that our family could not get through together that would warrant such a drastic and permanent answer. Yes, there would be disappointments, yes there may be tears but in the morn hope would arise and faith would go forth. They may face trials that may seem or appear overwhelming and too much. Remember who they are. Get on bended knee and plead for our Father's help. Help will come. It will come in impressions to your mind and to your heart, it will come from the voice of others, it will come through service. It is important to look for these answers in others. I just want them to know that our Father will never leave them alone. Satan will place horrible thoughts of doubt and guilt into your minds and have you believe that no one will love you, that you are a big disappointment, shame, etc. Those thoughts will never come from our Father in Heaven, God. He is the creator of all, even you. He would never look upon you with disdain. He is all loving and understanding and has sent his Beloved Son, Jesus Christ to provide a way that we can stand spotless again and bring ourselves back to live with him.

Like Manna from Heaven

September 13th, MONDAY~ ( to date: He is currently in the field, if you need his address email me, info is my contacts or catch me on facebook) FB, I at least know everyone and would feel comfortable posting his addy.)

     Today I was talking to a really good friend here and she too has a son serving a mission in Brownsville, TX. He has been out for over a year so if anyone knows Elder R. Yergensen be sure to give him an extra big hug. He also played football at the U of U, but we won't fault him for that. (just kidding) She was telling me how she received a letter from her boy. I was happy for her but still sulking and trying not to sound bitter. We have written Warrior everyday faithfully since he left. He has received an email each night and for some reason that offers me great comfort. It makes me sad to think what if he didn't get a letter. I asked him to let me know if there were any missionaries that he knew of that needed letters because I would write to them!
    As always, Mr. Incredible brings in the mail and he brought in a letter from our boy! I was almost afraid to open it! I studied his handwriting. (chicken scratch, actually) but as we gathered the family around for Family Home Evening to read his letter tears came to my eyes and the tightness in my chest lifted. I felt so relieved to hear his words and his enthusiasm for being there. He loves it there. He absolutely loves it there. He loves his companion. He loves all the experiences and people he is meeting. He loves waking up. He loves learning. He has even learned words in Tongan, Samoan, Philippine, Cantonese and Spanish. He absolutely loves his instructors. He says he will be so sad to leave the MTC. Through his words, I can't help but feel that the training center must be floating on air! It is that spiritual and amazing. I wish I had that experience. He makes me want to be better. I can see him growing and changing already, in this short amount of time. I don't want him to come home and our home feel strange or uncomfortable. I want us all to grow right along with him. So, we too are refining ourselves a bit more. So, that when he comes home his transition will be a bit easier. I will say that I know the First Presidency knows what is best for these young men as well as their mother's and truly anything longer than this would be too much to bear. Imagine that? who woulda thunk it? Until this moment, I had no comprehension of how much anxiety I was carrying. It truly was like manna from Heaven. Thank you, thank you.

Wednesday, September 15th we received his first email letter! It feels so good to have have it reconfirmed that all is well. I have never communicated with Warrior through letters. It has always been via phone or text or person. I am really enjoying this letter writing and emailing. He has grown so much. He thanks us over and over again for his opportunity to serve this mission. He is just so grateful it breaks my heart! He did it, we didn't. He writes how thankful he is for the way we parented him and for the experiences and how we raised him. (I know the correct wording is reared) But, to hear my son, bear testimony and witness of the things he has seen and partaken of, thus far and to have him express gratitude and appreciation for being his parents and loving him and giving him the opportunity to serve a mission, is well... a little more than this mama goose can bear. He has no idea that it was not us, it was he. It is because of his choices that has brought him to this very moment to where he could serve. He said he always knew we wanted to him to serve a mission. He said he then felt like he too wanted to serve a mission and lived so he could but it wasn't until he stepped foot into the MTC where he realized he truly was glad he was serving a mission. He just kept thanking us for teaching him in these things. But, I wish he would realize that this joy and happiness he feels is directly related to all of those choices that he made up to this point. When he was 8 yrs old, 12, 14, 16 and 18 and all those years in between. He reaps the benefits of those choices. He loves going to the temple. We had gone through the temple with him a few times prior to him leaving so that he could clearly understand. Again, I'm so grateful that Mr. Incredible is here for him. I pray everyday that he is here for all of our children and to see Dash through when he goes for his endowments! He is simply amazing and there is no equivalent for his replacement.

It sparks a memory of the consequences of choices Warrior has made.
There was a time when Warrior was 15 or 16 and there was a co-ed party. I strongly felt he shouldn't go. He strongly felt he should go. I was adamant he shouldn't. I should admit that mostly my decisions are off the fly, but this time I was level headed and truly felt it was not a good thing. I expressed it to him, Warrior again disagreed. So, unlike him. He has never been one to push back. This behavior left me baffled and had me question my own judgement. Mr. Incredible didn't have a feel either way, but had respected my feelings and had asked that we both retire to our rooms and pray for an answer. We both did and we would trust the answer that Warrior, received and go with that. My answer was still, No. I was positive that Warrior would come back and say he was going, "I was stunned and amazed when he said the answer he felt was NO, as well. Our children have the abilities to know and feel the spirit. We teach them to choose the right, but what good is it, when they are only allowed to choose from the right choices we would have them to choose? (they are asked to make right choices while young for these very moments) It was a leap of faith on my part to put this decision in my son's hands. I don't know why I felt like this wasn't a good thing. But he had learned that we did trust him, we trusted his judgement, his faith and his decision. Similar situations have come up through the years. Sometimes the answer was different than I had felt. But, we asked him to pray and we would trust in him. He has never broken that trust. There have been disappointments and frustrations, he nor we are perfect. But, trustworthy and honest, kindness and integrity are all names that can be attached to him. Sometimes, you just have to let go and see where the pieces fall. If we are lucky they will fall exactly where they are meant to fall and if we aren't the lucky part is as a family all pieces can be put back together again! I love truly love my husband and my children with all that I am. I'm so glad they are mine and I belong to them. Cherish your own families. Fortify and strengthen those bonds. They are all that matters.

Praying works

As I continue to watch our Father's plan open before our eyes, my heart swells and pools of tears fall. It is more than I can bare. Father's love is pouring upon our family and it is so intense and glorious it takes my breath away.

His hand is in everything we do, in everyone we speak to and in everywhere we turn. It is so prevalent and matter of fact that it makes stops my heart for a beat or two and I am left stunned.

WE need to rent our home. We aren't trying to make money off of our home. We can't afford two house payments, real estate has tanked and we are not as financially sound as we were a year ago. Everything is gone. Our savings, our food storage and our 401k and even our credit. We are 90 to 120 days behind on some bills.

DAY ONE
This afternoon, I felt the strong impression to just stop and pray and offer a prayer of gratitude. "What? I can't do that. I'm busy. I'm packing". Again, the impression came, and once again, I shirked the feeling. (so BAD, I know) Again the feeling came that I should pray. I told Mr. Incredible that I felt like we should pray and give a prayer of thanks. He said, "then pray". He called the children down from their rooms. He asked them if they would pray with us. Mr. Incredible offered up a sincere prayer. I felt much better.
That afternoon a family that we know said they are very interested in looking at our home and want to stop by and see it. They have a dog and are willing to forgo some inperfections in the house if we forgo some things. Sounds like a win win.

I pray that this is a right decision for them and for both of us. But, I couldn't help but be thankful for this little opportunity. Since then 3 other people I know from work have said they are interested as well. I need interested to turn into committment.
The next day!

DAY TWO
BOXES.
Moving boxes are pricey. I'm looking for free boxes. We went all over and the store manager at Office Maxx was particularly, nice. NOT! She had some empty boxes behind her counter. I followed the UPS man in, whom was delivering perfect boxes for me. (or so I thought). I encourage you all NOT TO SHOP AT OFFICE DEPOT! DO NOT SHOP AT OFFICE MAXX! OFFICE MAXX BAD...bad....very very bad! BOO HISS!! Seriously, the boxes were there, she said I couldn't have them because she has to bring them out back and put them in the compactor! that's the bottom line. I said, "Are you sure you can't give them to me or you just won't give them to me?" Her answer, "I can't" Ok, Office Maxx headquarters will get a letter from me, wondering why they are so unyeilding on this. Because it just cost them a BUYER who has FOUR school aged children! I left the store disgruntled, but I left without getting her named. So, I returned and when I did she said, Hi, do you want this box? Um...no, you said you can't. She has me wondering now..... Yep, I'll just head to Staples or Office Depot, thank you.
After leaving Office Maxx(boo hiss) stunned and teary eyed I was jilted from looking for anymore "free" boxes. I just wanted to go home. A man who used to own a moving supply company just sold the last of his boxes, tape, bubble wrap and plastic two days ago. Someone was a lucky dog! WE went to Home Depot scrounged for some free boxes and bought a few boxes to get started too. HOME DEPOT is the place to buy your boxes. They are almost 60% cheaper than UHAUL! Hooray for Home Depot!

DAY THREE
Guess what?? Yep, the feeling came to me to pray
I am packing, taping and marking boxes and I was impressed to stop and pray and read my scriptures again.
"COME ON, are you serious? I have to get this done!" (I thought) but I remembered the blessings that came from the last time I was obedient to the prompting.
OK, OK, I'll get my scriptures and read. I read about 4 or 5 chapters and my phone rang. It was my friend Heidi. She said her husband and son were on their way to the dump and wanted to know if I needed any boxes.

"HELLO, heck yeah!" While talking to her I couldn't help but get a bit sentimental. What if I hadn't read my scriptures, what if I hadn't done what I was prompted to do? would I have still received the boxes? and what if Heidi wasn't intune with the spirit? would she not have heard my prayer? If one of us were not insync would those boxes have gone to the city dump? It makes me wonder about all the possible misopportunities that might have come my way if I or another hadn't had static on their end of the line. Things that make you go hmmmm.....
Packing up my home after 11 years is harder than I thought. I never loved my house but as I began to turn our house into our home, I reflected on all the wonderful beautiful memories that we have made and created. This was our first home we have owned. Packing the contents of our home has gone effortlessly. It is almost as if things are just wrapping themselves and getting into the boxes. Once again, another huge blessing. She has given us enough boxes to cover most of upstairs!! There were A LOT!
My visiting teacher Jess emailed and also told me she had some large boxes as well! LOVE IT!

DAY FOUR! POLICE LIGHTS in my rearview mirror.

(I had my camera, but ain't no way I'm asking for a picture)
I just happened to turn into my neighborhood where 4 other neighbors drove by and had to see me getting pulled over! I wanted to crawl into my skin.
I was pulled over after having a great night with some friends at work! BUMMER!
My heart raced, my palms sweat and I was freaking out! But, I have the sense to quickly put my seatbelt on.
officer: "I pulled you over because your tags are expired"
me: "oh yeah, my husband told me he will get it done when he's back in town." Another officer had given him a ticket or a piece of paper if we get pulled over again.
Officer:" Your car is not inspected either"
Me: "What?" "Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't know anything about this. What should I do? where should I go? We are moving the end of next month. Can't I just drive it to Missouri and get it all done there?"
Officer: He was so nice and patient."No, mam, you can't".
Me: "OK, I will go there first thing tomorrow and get everything taken care".
Officer: "ok, I'm not going to ticket you. Just get this done and you will be ok."
Me: "Oh, thank you officer"
Officer: "One last thing, let me just run your license and make sure everything is alright"
me: "Oh not a problem! I haven't had a ticket in 10 years", I willfully and proudly submit my drivers license.
Officer: He walks up to the side of my window. I'm beaming. "Ms. Solomon there's a problem with your license"
Me: "SHUT UP!" said with total disbelief, shock and wonder!
Officer: startled look
me: "I'm sorry, I don't mean shut up, I mean you got to be kidding?"
Officer: shines flashlight on my drivers license. "You had a birthday last month"
me:"Yes, I did, thank you for noticing".
Officer: "read this with me"
Me: "license expires 12/16/2009" My face looked like he had just shot me with the tazer gun.
"OH MY GOSH!!! IT EXPIRED! I NEVER LOOK AT MY DRIVERS LICENSE! THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER PULLED IT OUT! It expired a month ago!
Officer: "This is warrant for your arrest. You have the car not tagged and an expired license.
ME: My eyes begin to well with tears. I'm in total disbelief. Can't believe what is going on.
YOU CAN'T HAUL ME OFF TO JAIL!!! I can't go to JAIL! I start rattling off very quickly. I have three children!, they are home by themselves! Don't worry one of them is old enough to babysit. It's not child endangerment. My husband is out of town. What am I going to do? He's been out of a job for 11 months! If he were here. It's all his fault!" LOL, all of this verbal pukage spilled from the gaping hole in the center of my face, they call a mouth!
I'm so sad.
Officer: "Listen, I'm not going to ticket you. You are the nicest person I have ever met."
Me: "Oh thank you, thank you! (after hearing those words, I'm thinking, "seriously, I feel so bad for you, if I'm the nicest person, you've ever met." but, then I think, "DANG, your job sucks."
ME: back to reality. "I promise. I will go and get everything fixed tomorrow. Don't worry. I have another car that is tagged and legal."
Officer: "Umm... I'm sorry mam, but you can't drive! Your license is expired and if you get pulled over by another officer they may not be as NICE as I am!"
ME: "oh yeah, oh crap, oh... sorry! Ok, I'm going straight home!, thank you again."
Officer: "have a good night and take care"

Once again, another very very big blessing!!! I am legal. My car is inspected, registered, tagged and whatever and I have a valid license. It took me 35 minutes for the car things. I asked for the D.O.T and they told me the DaaamV. I was like, you don't have to swear! Remember, I live in the south and I was born a blonde! for real. I have baby pictures where I look like a white haired monkey!
The garage guy said the D.M.V. Department of Motor Vehicles??.... looking for a light bulb to go off.
Me: "Oh yeah, the D.M.V! I knew that!
I have no idea how people can drive around illegal. It stressed me out so badly. I like playing just within the rules.