WE have been trying to find balance. Balance with so many things. Work, children, church, duties, etc. But, mostly we have been trying to find balance and adjusting to having one of us gone. Everyone is adjusting well but I truly feel Dash misses Warrior the most. He has been aggravating his sisters relentlessly. He does not like to see them happy or content. I don't think he does it purposely. I think he does it out of shear boredom. I can just see the wheels in his head turn and he is on his way to being a thorn in someone's side. Life has been an adjustment.
We are learning balance. Trying to figure out where we all fall into our new roles at home. WE have new chores to divide out. Who will be mowing the yard, taking the trash out? these were a few of Warrior's chores. We have a new pecking order on who gets the captain seats in our expedition. The two girls now move to the captain chairs and Dash is left in the back by himself. When he is in the captain's chair he is constantly facing the back annoying one of his sisters. When he is in the far back he is unhappy.
Dash's life has changed drastically since his older brother has left for college.
Dash does not like the new chores or the added responsibility. Dash does not like that the girls do not play with him like Warrior did. He does not like what Warrior found funny and tolerated of Dash the girls do not like. The girls do not like to be hit by rat tails, and he takes much pleasure in hearing them scream in pain.
It's finding balance when I fix any meal and I am cooking way too much. It is finding balance when I need a second driver and he is not home or finding balance into realizing I am now the top chauffer for seminary. Lovely.
We will find balance. Our pyramid is still a pyramid we are just all having to adjust until he comes home again. It has been a good experience. I am sure Warrior is searching for balance. Balancing, church, school, football and fun time. When I went to college I had a great experience. I know he will too.
It has been almost two weeks since Warrior has been gone. It feels like he is just away at and EFY or football camp. I think it won't settle in until our school schedule starts which is tomorrow! I am proud to report that I was able to speak to Warrior on the phone. Initially, I had avoided speaking to him for fear that my voice would betray my facade of pretending that all is well. WE have spoke 4 times and each time gets easier. ::wipes sweat from brow:: what a relief.
I broke myself in by texting him. He texted back one or two word answers. (nice,...not)
Then I left him a voice message on his phone. That was hard. Then I was getting a little pouty that he hadn't called me back but had spoken to his dad like 3 times, since! LOL
He finally called my phone and I freaked out! I panicked, "It's Warrior! What do I do?"
Mr. Incredible replied, "Answer, the phone".
I couldn't, I had a 5 second melt down and pleaded, "What if I cry?" and then I did!" I quickly wiped the tears that fell and pushed the talk button.
"Hey, Warrior!" in a slightly higher pitch than normal.
"Hey, Mom!" my heart crushed and my eyes welled with tears.
I definitely hid that my eyes were welling. My voice cracked only once but I covered that ingeniously with a cough. I'm creative like that. It was so good to hear from him. I truly did miss his voice and I miss his hugs even more! I am such a SAP!! We got him caught up on all the news and I shared with him that everyone keeps asking me if I missed him. I said, I miss him but I don't worry for him. In typical humor. I told him it was a toss up between the truck and him on who I missed more. He chuckled.
Then I asked him how he was doing if he missed being home. He said he missed being home and he feels like he is just at football camp too. So, I figure he and I are on the same page with emotions. Today will be his first day of school.
He also shared he had good news. He has taken some reps with Varsity and he isn't running with the JV. That is really good for a freshman! Go GET 'EM! I wish we could be there for his first scrimmage. But, we will be there in prayers and in spirit.
Balance is a good thing. Hold to the teachings of the prophets and balance will be found.
22 comments:
That would be alot of adjustments to make...I find myself wishing i had a second driver too...still a few years before that happens here though. Glad he is doing well.
I have learned balance is the key to this trip on earth. Figuring out when to shove, when to pull..When to back away..you know the drill.
All the emotions are their to help us. What a great mom you are. Warrior is lucky to have you. He will handle this the way you handle it.
Love is what makes the balancing act work. I sense the concern you have for "dash" and "warrior".Your heart will direct you.
I luv your pyramid picture.
It is very hard to readjust and find balance everytime changes happen in the family.
We have been going through this for the last few years as our older ones have left for college and missions. It totally IS hard not having all the family home and not having everyone at the dinner table, etc....So hard.
Now just when I feel there is a little balance with the family (no one is going to college again for a few years) now I know that I have changes to make.
This was a great post - I think it helps to put things into words.
I love that you cry when you talk to warrior - that tells me how close you are. It is touching!
I also love the pyramid pictures - perfect for this post!
Oh my gosh, I don't know why I get so weepy eyed when I read your posts about him! We're not even related..lol!
I think it's because I'm putting myself in your shoes w/ my eldest, and imagining that being him!!
Well, it sounds like he is adjusting well, and you guys are doing the same. I'm sure Dash misses his big bro. He probably feels like the minority now w/ him being the only boy at home.
HUGS, my friend!
ok laughing to death... too funny! "it's warrior, what do i do?"
first, happy birthday Beauty!
Second.. I am trying to find balance also. our lives changed when I broke my foot, and now that school, soccer, gym is in, ugh, I am trying to find balance on how to care for this family. and be a only driver too! WE will find it, that is how life goes. hugs to you and yours...
ps. loving the donuts birthday cake!
I am trying to savor every moment that my son is around this year. He is a Senior. I keep telling my self that I have a year to prepare for him to go out and make his way in the world. But reading your post has shown me that I most likely won't be ready for him to go away next year. Maybe he will live at home and attend college close to home. I can dream!
I know that I'll be in your shoes next year! So reading this post will prepare me for things to come. Had some time from my busy schedule, so I'm relaxing reading your blog...okay my son just piped to me he's hungry for dinner, so much for relaxing reading your blog, I'll be back!
That is such a big adjustment! You don't realize how much you come to depend on them as part of the structure of things until they go. I was so homesick my first year of school. I always knew it was hard on my Mom when they left me but I never really 'got' it until I read your post.
So, who is he playing for?
Oh my heart hurts for yours! I know I will miss my boys terribly when they leave. Huge adjustments at your house, for everyone. Hang in there! Thinking about you.
MG I thought you dropped off the planet, but I just got 9 posts in my google reader, so it must be my computer!!
Warrior is off to college, that is amazing. I know how much you must be missing him! Christmas break, remember it is only a little over 3 months away! Where did he end up going? In state or out of state? Can you visit?
I am sorry, I am sitting her crying because I remember the first time each child called me when they left home and it was the exact feelings you were having...the tears, soooo emotional. I have one on a mission now and it just rips at me to be able to talk to him on Mothers Day and Christmas, so hard to smile and sound happy when i miss him sooo bad. The other boys are just as bad...I miss them too but this is the first time this young man has been away.....so....I feel your pain.
Sounds like you've got a lot going. balance is a Gr8 thing! Wish I could be more organized so I could feel a little more balanced. I need to get mentally balanced too :)
Goose, you got me all snot-faced. {honking my nose in the tissue} Okay. I'm good.
Reading this just makes me realize what my family, my mom in particular, must have gone through when I went to college. I suppose the fact that I've been writing about the time of my life has really brough it to the forefront.
I hope Dash can adjust soon. It's gotta be hard for him being the man of the house sometimes. And having his role model so far away.
I love you, lady. Sorry it's taken me forever to get over here. ♥♥
Sweet post MG!! I had tears welling up reading it. I can't even imagine how I'm going to feel when my first one goes off to college. Sweet Dash, I hope things even out for him soon. Such a tough transition.
Hang in there!!
♥♥
You have me practically crying! It's funny how you don't think of the parent point of view until you're the parent.
I get the balancing act. We had to do it when Steve left for Afghanistan and then when he came home. And then when Kass left on his Mission. It's amazing what you take for granted when someone has just filled in the hole until that hole opens up and you have to reevaluate.
Oh this brought back so many feelings and emotions when I sent my daughter off to college. Many tears were shed after she was gone. That first trip she made home for a holiday was so anticipated! It's challenging to watch your youngun's grow up and leave the nest yet so rewarding to see them have productive lives! You are a good mama!
Glad you are figuring it out...I HATE it when my mom cries every time I talk to her.
The good news is that it will get easier with every kid...the first one always has to be the guinea pig...poor guy.
Your warrior will do great things!
wow girl! i know i will be seeking that balance when i have to send my kids to college...or just plain ol' "out in the world"....
... he will be fine cuz you raised him to be a responsible young man. he's one of those Striplin Warriors we've heard tell about :)
HI Friend!! I haven't seen you posting for awhile. I always check your blog. How are you doing??
oh that made me cry. I am sure I will miss my babies too when they leave. :(
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