He was very composed and whispered in hushed tones but he very pointedly got his message across. In fact, I was a participant of the ugly talk and nastiness and for a few hours had felt like the ban applied to me, as well.
The house is on electronic lock down until further notice. Yeah, everyone knows what they are suppose to do to earn cell phones, computers, ipods and television back. The home has been on energy efficient levels for 3 days and I can say that our household is a very stubbon, obstinate stiff necked people. After three days we still have some disgruntled behaviors.
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I am hearing more of the piano being played and none of them have ever taken lessons but each are playing Book of Mormon Stories. I think I may have some child prodigies on my hands and there is a lot more of this going on. (napping)
So until we see more happy smiling faces and hear "when there's love at home" the electronic switches will remain off.
and until we see more family love.
The older son is upset because we are not supportive of going to Honduras for two weeks prior to his mission with his girlfriend and her family. What do you think?
17 comments:
Sometimes these rules need to be put into effect. It is so hard though. I just wish my kids would do what they need to do so we can continue to have FUN! Manga Dork got a "C" on her report card and did not get on the honor roll for the first time EVER! She lost her cell phone and laptop. She is doing much better. I don't know about that trip...tough call...good luck.
Is the trip a vacation or service oriented?
WOW I'm impressed because I don't know if I could do it with those electronics just staring at me, sad that they aren't being used ;)
I think it's playing with fire to let him go. Not that it's trust, but why take the risk?
About the trip...it's a tough call. Here's my take on it.
We have our sets of rules with the kids for a REASON, we don't just have rules to constrict our children. (even though they think that might be our purpose) Some parents really DO have rigid rules just because they want to and they dont really serve a purpose! But even when there are times when it would be a no brainer I think it's also important to evaluate the specific situation.
We recently let Desi do something that I'm sure people judged us about but we knew the situation, knew our child and the other person, and knew the chaperoning family as well. This was right before he was going through the temple to get his endowments because he was going on HIS mission the following week. In all honestly I allowed it very easily because it "felt" ok to me. He's a good solid boy and Desi is a good solid girl. Even though good kids can still make mistakes...I think a lot of our decisions should be made by what our gut feeling (holy ghost!) tells us.
There has also been a time when I let Desi spend some time with an aunt for the weekend. I felt fine, it's her AUNT for goodness sakes, but Jed had a feeling not to let her go. Well, I convinced him to let her go. Turns out she was put in a very bad situation that weekend. Thankfully all ended up ok but I was mad at myself for not listening to my husbands bad feeling because I was so set on "Its a weekend with her aunt and neices & nephews, good grief!"
So, don't worry about appearances or letting him down, just trust your gut. It won't steer you wrong!
Good luck to you and your electronic free family! Maybe I should do that to get the kids to do some cleaning around here!
Sometimes we have to disconnect so we can re-connect! :)
And...it doesn't take much for things to unravel, that's for sure!
I am of the playing with fire frame of mind. Satan works so hard on our young people, I try to steer them away from unnecessary risks. The world they live in is so hard already, then add in young minds and bodies (and hormones), the knowledge that he's about to leave for TWO years, and everything else. It's just too easy to make a mistake that will change their lives.
My husband and I dated before his mission, and it was soooo hard there at the end that we stopped going on single dates-ever. We could tell the adversary had stepped up his work on us, and it was better to give ourselves as few opportunities as possible to give in to temptations.
My two cents---or maybe that was four cents worth! Being a parent is tough, isn't it?
Yep! Hi it's me... Man- so much has gone on in your life & I have not gotten on to read about it.. I'm sorry. Sorry for being such a loser friend. Sorry for the loss of your Grandma. Truly sorry!
Our stake pres in the adult session of stake conf. advised parents to be very very careful with their kids & electronics. Anything that has the internet. He said never ever let them be on it with out your supervision. To lock all channels that they could see something on. Advised couples to not take it lightly befriending the opposite sex on the computer..
Crazy world!
Again I am so sorry about your grandma.
Um, I'm telling! Are you breaking the ban by blogging?!?! As I sit here reading this after the kids have been home for 4 days straight, with the flooding, and about to KILL each other, I think that I may have to implement a ban too. They are KILLING me, and it is not even summer yet!!
I am so sorry about your grandma, and that I haven't written earlier. I always get so nervous and am afraid that I will say something to make it worse. She sounds like an awesome woman!
If it were my kid, and you did ask for our opinion ; ) I don't think that I would let mine go either. Just too chancy. I know he is a great kid, but you never know when they will be put in a situation that might be too hard to bear. I would err on the side of caution, and I am sure that later on down the road he will agree that it was most definately the best decision. Just my 2 cents anyhow. ; )
Are you supposed to be on the computer? Just kiddin'.
No, I hear ya on the bantering, bickering, complaining, accusing, etc. We have taken our kids electronics away to teach them lessons too! You gotta do what you gotta do!
As far as the trip. Hmm..do you know the girl and her family well enough? I know he's already "on his own" in college, but sometimes when you give kids too much freedom, they don't even know how to handle it. I've seen many good kids get into trouble because temptation was staring them in the face.
WAY TO GO!!!!!!!! you & your hubby should be PROUD of yourselves for setting the standard :) you are doing THE RIGHT THING!
and
ummm yeah... the trip with the girlfriend... yeah... i would say NO! Satan is gonna be on him like White on Rice to try to prevent him frtom going on a Mission. forget that trip.
its like walking into a furnace and expecting to NOT get burned.
Hey Chrys, will you give Spence my 2 cents for me.
Hey Spence, remember the SM 1Thessalonians 5:21-22!! I have always loved that scripture, I am sure you have no intention of anything happening, but, most really good kids that take a fall don't! Pray about it, with an open and honest heart, you will know what is best for you and your future. 2 years apart may seem like forever, but I gotta tell you Zach's time flew!
I am also against the trip...sorry Warrior. My brother in law was in the same boat and it postponed him going on a mission just because of a little slip. Not worth it!
Good for you for turning off the electronics- no one is hardly at our home for electronics to be on.
I believe you should stick to your guns about the Honduras trip. You do whatever you think is best for your son.
trip No! for the reasons of all of the above. it is a hard call you know what to do girl! get on doze knees Heavenly Father gave you to run, jump, and kick,most of all PRAY!!!
Love your idea.. so doing this!
Hard to say no to a 19 year old. They think that nothing is going to happen. Keep firm to your standards and beliefs.
I think there might be more fighting if we went electronics free.
I would so No to Honduras, too.
Oh boy tough call on the vacation and I am late to this party!
Having already had a missionary and one who got married I would say not a good idea.
He should actually be breaking it off with the girlfriend prior to his mission so he can focus on the Lord's work!
Girlfriends and missions = Bad news!
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