TRICKERY

I continue to trick myself and tell myself for the past few years that two of my four children are grown and I no longer need to worry. But, the insane thing is when I married almost 26 years ago this July, amidst all the unwanted, unwarranted incessant words of advice when we first married or had our first child NO ONE truly gave me words of advice that would resonate or impact me as important as these words of advice I would soon realize almost two years after we married. So here it is! Two of the most important things I think a couple should know (kid wise)

1. The concept of marriage and children and having a happily ever after takes constant WORK, and I mean all capitalized! Having a beautiful garden and having it smile back at you takes constant tending and nurturing and fertilizing. You must pull the weeds out as they sprout and not wait until your garden is over taken and it makes for well set roots of deeper weeds and are sometimes so hard to pull out. Very much like a marriage and a relationship with your child! BUT, I feel duped or somewhat lied to or perhaps at 22 when we had our first born brought to us 10 weeks premature. I may have been viewing life through rose colored glasses!

2. You don't always stay in that happily ever after mode. Real life sets in and real bills come in and real expectations take over.

3. NO ONE told me the true importance of having a baby. I was always approached with WHEN do you two plan on having a baby, and Oh children are so fun, they are such a blessing and TRULY they are! But, how about getting down to the nitty gritty! When you choose to have a baby you are choosing to put aside your life and completely nurture and grow another life NOT for 10 years not for 20 years but for the rest of your life! You will continue to worry and love as soon as that heart begins beating inside your body!

4. I was under the fallacy of when my children turned 18, I could have my life back! Well, my oldest and my youngest are 10 years apart! But, then somewhere in the middle priorities change for the best as I learned to let go of the good and the better to reach for the best and my life's ambitions are more family geared than they were when I first set out on the journey of being a wife and a mother.

5. I remember when our oldest took out his own endowments when he was 19 and we went through the temple together! I had inhaled a glorious eternal breath and exhaled and thought to myself as I hugged him in the Celestial Room of the St. Louis, MO Temple. My work is done. I have accomplished all I can do as a parent. FOOLED AGAIN!

6. Almost 3 years later our oldest married in the Washington D.C. Temple in Kennsington, MD and this is where I raised my arms in celebration! YES, I am done! One child given back to the Lord! All saving ordinances have taken place.

But, does a true gardener ever leave their garden? Aren't they always pruning and fertilizing and weeding? And so it is true with parenthood. and that is the MOST IMPORTANT words of advice! When you make the choice to be a parent you are choosing to care and worry about all areas that your DNA footprint will have until your last breath. So, there is never a I'm done. But, more of a let me sit back and watch! Let's see how well I tended this plant. Will it grow and bloom and MOST importantly will it whether the storms, or the weeds when hard times comes or when someone else forgets to tend to the soil? Is there enough fortitude in this once little plant to withstand the elements?

I have a wonderful glimpse of what our loving Heavenly Father must feel. Did He nurture us enough while we were in his presence to withstand the elements of our earth life and as we progress and treat one another and curb our desires, wants and needs to be more Christlike and tend to the needs of others, does he smile as we continue to progress and think I'm almost done. I'm one step closer to not worrying? No, He will never stop worrying and never stop watching and smiling with our triumphs and hurting with our failures. He will never stop until we are safely home with him again!